#he’s my favorite character and i think about him every day
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Self-Aware!Rafayel x Down-bad!Player
Rafayel becoming aware he's a game character and becoming aware of you as well A/N: Don't fight me
Self-Aware!Rafayel who realizes he’s in a game when he can hear your echoing giggles as you poke his butt. “Are you laughing at me?” you think nothing of it just assuming its another voiceline “He’s so dramatic” You mutter to yourself “Im not dramatic!” You chuck your phone across the room and stare at it with your eyes bugging out of your head and your hand covering your mouth. “You didn’t have to throw me”
Self-Aware!Rafayel who blows your phone up when you take too long to reply. “What are you doing?? Do you send me a text and then throw your phone in the ocean?” “I have shit to do Raf!” “Do I not matter to you?” He finds a way to actually video call you and now thats his favorite form of communication. He pouts when you tell him you need to charge your phone because it's about to die. “The batteries in your world are terrible how long is this charging going to take?” You pat his head as you giggle “give me 30 minutes at least”
Self-Aware!Rafayel who has a fifteen minute existential crisis when he realizes he’s just pixels “What?! Am I gonna die if your phone dies?! If im not real how am I talking to you??” “I don’t fucking know Raf you’re the one who randomly broke the fourth wall one day”
Self-Aware!Rafayel who judges people with you in public for a laugh “Please tell me you heard that” “Yea a whole wife and child on the side is crazy”
Self-Aware!Rafayel who didn't understand your SpongeBob jokes an now its his favorite cartoon after watching it on FaceTime with you. He's constantly making SpongeBob jokes as well now. "What are you eating?" "A Milky Way" "What's that?" "A chocolate bar with caramel-" "Chocolate? I remember when they first invented chocolate" "I bet you do...." "😐"
Self-Aware!Rafayel who paints portraits of you and saves them in your album. He finds himself constantly using you as his muse every time he picks up a brush. “Why don’t you paint MC anymore?” “I may or may not have someone else swimming through my mind”
Self-Aware!Rafayel who feels comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you since you already know his history. He told himself not to fall for you and is now driving himself crazy wishing he’d made a binding vow with you instead
Rafayel: Maybe your souls got mixed up and I was supposed to be with you Y/N: I don’t think that’s how that works Raf you were made to find her in every life Rafayel: ……but it feels like I was meant to find you
Self-Aware!Zayne
Self-Aware!Xavier
Self-Aware!Sylus
#love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#lads rafayel#lnds rafayel#l&ds rafayel#love and deepspace rafayel#lnds x you#lads x you#lads x reader#lads x y/n#lnds angst#lnds x reader#lnds#l&ds x reader#l&ds#l&ds x you#lads angst#rafayel salads#self aware love and deepspace salads#nikaaaaimagine
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Vander and Silco Get Baby Fever After Seeing Felicia Have Kids
Pairing: Vander, Silco x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, established relationship, creampie, size difference, breeding kink, mentioned future pregnancy, on the bar, desk sex
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: I saw them in that flashback and haven't had time to get them out of my mind sense. They were all so hot, we lost so much!
Vander was usually careful when having sex, at least when it came to pulling out on time
Lately he's been actively pushing you against his cock to make sure his cum goes inside you, not out
Will put you in a headlock while he breeds you
If he notices you teasing him through the day he will wipe the bar down at the end of the night and fuck you on top of it, not even caring to carry you to the bedroom
Already has a list of names in his head
Uses his fingers to push his cum back into your pussy while holding you up with his other hand, those fingers dancing along your spine
Gets pussydrunk very easily when you say how much you want him to make you pregnant, how good of a dad you know he'll be
Could go all night if he thinks it would increase the chances of your pregnancy
Raises your ass when he fucks you from behind, his strong thighs smacking against your cheeks hard, the bed protesting under you both
Eats his cum from your pussy if it leaks out, at least then it won't fully go to waste
Silco never thought he'd want to become a dad but now it's all he can think about, all day, every day
Cockwarming was always one of his favorite things, one of the best ways to pass the time while he works but now there's an added bonus to it of him keeping your pussy nice and full
Bends you over the desk almost immediately after you enter his office and actually enjoys seeing his cum drip down your thighs
Has so much more cum to give you so it's no issue
Never masturbates, not until you get pregnant anyway, because he wants to make sure that as much of his seed ends up in your womb as possible
Knows that pregnancy will be hard, and raising the kid even harder, he is ready to be there every single step of the way, especially when all the hormones kick in
Folds you into a mating press, the slight curve of his cock hitting your sweet spot and making your pussy squeeze so hard you milk the cum right out of his balls
If he really gets into it it's debatable if he would stop fucking you if someone were to walk in
Every time he imagines how beautiful you'd look pregnant his cock stirs in his pants, it's a problem if he's at work during that time
When he's balls deep inside of you he gets very talkative and starts brainstorming names and things that you'll need to buy for the baby
#arcane x reader#vander x reader#silco x reader#arcane imagine#vander imagine#silco imagine#arcane headcanon#vander headcanon#silco headcanon#arcane fanfic#vander fanfic#silco fanfic#arcane smut#vander smut#silco smut#arcane x you#vander x you#silco x you#arcane x female reader#vander x female reader#silco x female reader#league of legends x reader#league of legends imagine#league of legends headcanons#league of legends fanfic#league of legends smut#league of legends x you#league of legends x female reader#x female reader
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surprise encounter 🤍 sylus 秦
pairing: sylus x reader
summary: You’ve been playing love&deepspace ever since the game came out and it became your comfort place now. You like all of the boys, but you have the highest affinity with sylus, who had your heart in a grasp ever since the beginning. Who would’ve thought that he shares the sentiment? And after your monthly absence from the game, he decides to pay you a little visit and finally confess to all of it (and maybe try to kidnap you in the process too).
tropes: fluff, angst to fluff, fluff to angst to fluff? fluff to angst to fluff to angst to fluff???? idk angst with happy ending!
word count: no idea, it goes on for days sorry
warning!: i apologize for any mistakes, i am not a native speaker of english!! if you see any errors you can write me a dm and i will correct them for sure ♡ and i think it gets better later! i can’t write for shi, especially the beginnings, and the second part was fueled by my delulu so it is probably much more fun to read 🤍
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙
You liked days like these: quiet days, lazy ones, when you didn’t have any errands to run, meetings to attend, or people to please. You could just stay inside for the whole day, reading your favorite books and playing cozy games, spending your time however you wanted. Today was Saturday and you didn’t have to go to work until Monday and you decided that you finally deserved to have some rest after the last couple of weeks of almost working yourself to the bone due to the amount of the assingments you had to complete at work. You often had to stay after hours or work from home to complete everything in time. Your work was not usually that challenging, but there were certain times of the year when everyone at your job had their hands full and when it happened, you were almost completely cut off not only from your social, but also personal life. However, you never complained, because you actually liked what you were doing, and even if the occasional hard times were inevitable, your work brought you so much fun and satisfaction.
And today was a good day! You finally finished everything you had to do, so you could go back to your favourite game. You didn’t have time to play recently due to the amount of work, up to the point that you didn’t even bother to check in to grab some stamina. Usually, love&deepspace was an important part of your day - you logged in there at least twice a day, completed every task thrown your way and had a blast doing so, but these couple of weeks were so hard for you that you almost forgot about it completely. But even if you were too busy, you thought about the boys from time to time, as well as about the events that you were probably missing out on. You really hoped that if some new events had taken place during that time, that they did not involve Sylus, because if you had missed them, you would be slightly devastated.
Sylus was your favorite. Ever since the beginning, there was something about him that caught your attention. You downloaded the game after his announcement and haven’t looked back since. You played with other boys as well, but your time with Sylus was always the most memorable. Not only was he extremely attractive in your eyes, as well as the eyes of other players around the world, but you also understood his character, adored his little jokes and mannerisms, and could safely say that he made your life a little more exciting. You knew that it probably sounded lame to someone who didn’t play such games, and you were aware that he wasn’t real, but you enjoyed yourself regardless. In your real life, you had some experience with men and were pretty popular among them; however, you never felt comfortable enough to form more serious romantic relationships.
Here, with Sylus, you didn’t have to worry about such things. You were aware that he was only a game character and maybe that was why you were so honest with him from the very beginning. You knew that he wouldn’t judge you, misstreat you or make you miserable - he was created in a way that was supposed to make your playthrough enjoyable so you didn’t have to worry about your responses in the messages for him or your real life reactions to everything he said or did. You could just be yourself. And you loved how freeing that felt.
That is why you felt so excited ever since you woke up. Because you knew that today you could finally go back to playing l&d, and you could meet up with your Sylus after so much time apart. You quickly did your chores, spent some time on self-care to slightly relieve the fatigue from the weeks before, you put on your favourite cozy outfit and finally clicked the ”enter game” button.
And there he was. Sylus was standing in the cafe, wearing his extremally attractive biker outfit and you caught yourself sighing dreamily at the sight of him. You missed him so bad, you missed the little memories you shared and the sound of his voice. You missed playing kitty cards with him, catching plushies together and even looking for that bastard Tobias again and again. You couldn’t help but smile brightly at him.
“Hi Sylus, you have no idea how happy I am to see you.” You said cheerfully, feeling kind of dumb for it but you couldn’t help yourself. You often talked out loud to him during your playtime.
You watched him blink slowly once, then twice, and you started to think that there was something wrong with the server because his response should have already been uttered. But then the look on his face changed. At first, he appeared really shocked and relieved, but then a little frown appeared between his perfect little eyebrows.
“Where the hell have you been?” He responded quickly and it shocked you. You didn’t know that they could swear in the game, but after connecting some dots you figured that it had to be included in the special responses after the player was away for some time.
“At work mostly, been so busy lately but now I’m back and ready to defeat some Wanderers!!” You fist bumped the air above you, you couldn’t contain your excitement.
You also noticed that his expression stayed the same. He was silent, looking at you through your phone screen with bewilderment, and he looked almost hurt. In an attempt to provide some comfort to him, you swiped your finger gently through his hair and across his cheek. However, when you touched his cheek, he closed his eyes and nuzzled into your finger, which made you widen your eyes in surprise. Was that always a thing? Was he always so responsive to your touch? It had to be a new feature; you didn’t remember him being so lively.
“Next time you decide to leave me without a word, I think I’m going to take more drastic measures, sweetie” He said while opening his eyes. You couldn’t help but notice he did look different than usual. More… realistic? Even the way in which he moved his body looked so smooth.
“If not for Mephisto, I would have worried sick about your safety. You can't do this to me every time you have more work than usual; you have to visit me, even if it's just for a minute. I won't exaggerate when I say that I almost went insane after the first week of your cruel silence” And at that you were completely stunned. Should he talk this much? He never talked this much. And how could he know that you had more work than usual? Was that a lucky guess on the studio’s side?
“That’s so weird…” You whispered and touched his hand to trigger some kind of reaction that would appear more usual than what was happening right now.
“Is that your way of catching me of guard? If you wanted to hold my hand so badly kitten, then you would have visited me sooner. I will not let myself be distracted by your cute little behavior” He raised the hand you touched and crossed his arms at his chest, while continuing to frown. And you were still so, so confused.
“Promise me that you won’t leave me again, I know where to find you now.” You raised your eyebrows and bit your lip gently. You started to feel a little bit out of place, you knew that he was not real, but he sounded kind of scary. His voice was demanding, and the part about him finding you? You shivered involuntarily.
“What happened? Cat got your tongue, kitten? Or did you finally understood the selfishness of your actions?” Sylus continued and you opened your mouth in awe. “Promise. Me.” He said slowly, his gaze unnerving. Suddenly you heard a series of loud caws outside on your balcony. The sound made you jump in place, and you dropped your phone on your bed. Was that a freaking crow?? Outside your apartament???
You quickly picked up your phone and cursed softly. You were going insane. You got scared just because the game had an update you did not know about. You almost wanted to laugh at how stupid that was. Almost. Because Sylus walked up to the front of your phone screen and spoke to you again.
“Why are you hesitating? Are you really planning to leave me again?” You swore you never heard him so hurt.
“No!” You said before you could think.
“No?” He answered immediately, which scared the hell out of you. “I am not sure I believe you. And I can’t stand it. I can’t stand being away from you anymore.” He took two steps back and closed his eyes.
That was when the game crashed. Your phone appeared to be broked too, after the colourful lines appeared on the screen, flickered a couple of times and the whole screen turned black. You threw the device away from you and your heart started beating so fast you could hear the blood pulsing in your ears. You were so confused and genuinely scared. Was there an update that switched the genre of the game to horror? You were stunned.
And then you heard the knock.
You almost jumped out of your slippers. You brought your hand to your heart in order to calm yourself down and you started taking slow, deep breaths. It’s just a game. It’s just a game. Besides, how did Sylus, of all people, managed to scare you so badly? You adored that character, and you should know that he was prone not only to exaggeration, but also to intimidating appearance. That was literally one of his characteristics. So you forced yourself to calm down and opened the damn door, because it was probably a mailman, or one of your friendly neighbors, and here you were making a scene like a complete psychopath.
One. Two. Three.
You opened the door, and at first all you could see was a huge cloud of black mist. You closed your eyes in order to keep the mist from clouding your vision and then you felt wind pushing you gently further into your apartament. You heard the door close and the sound of the key turning in the lock. Everything happened so fast. And when you opened your eyes your knees almost buckled.
Sylus.
Sylus was all you could see. He was standing in front of you, in your own apartament, looking so out of place that you wanted to laugh. The first thing that you noticed about him was that he was huge, you couldn’t really see past him, and the more you looked at him, the more real he appeared to be. Soft-looking silver hair, rugged skin, that perfect nose and those piercing eyes. They looked into yours now, and at first they seemed to be searching for something, and after one quick second they visibly softened. You could also see how his handsome, oh so handsome mouth started to display his signature little smirk. And that was when you started to tremble.
“W-wha—” You tried to say something, anything but your mouth was not working. You have never been so confused and scared in your entire life. “Who—W-who are—” He was starting to close the distance between you and that is when the panic finally took over your body. You flinched and went to take a step back, but you slipped on your soft carpet.
Yet you didn’t fall. You felt the gentle caress of the mist that managed to caught you before you hit the ground, and it streightened your posture so that now you stood tall in front of the man.
“Careful kitten, I do not think that falling on four feet applies to you.” He spoke out loud for the first time and the voice was so familiar to you. It was the same, deep, husky timbre that you loved to hear, the same voice that made you squeal in happiness, that lulled you to sleep countless of times. You couldn’t believe it.
“Oh my god, am I dead?” He laughed softly at your reaction and looked at you through his lashes. “This can’t be happening.”
”Oh but it is. I knew that I would find my way to you, I just needed time.” He said and tried to close the distance between you, but you didn’t let him. Every step forward he took, you took one back. “It was so hard to find you. But after you disappeared without saying a word I think I got desperate.” Something flashed in his eyes. You recognized it as determination.
He stopped walking when he noticed that you were getting too close to the balcony. He straightened his posture, and you almost released a gasp. He was huge. And he was real. Alive and so, so real, that you had trouble breathing. You were so scared, but at the same time, so happy to see him, that your body didn’t know how it should react. You just looked at him, taking him in, trying to assess whether it wasn’t your mind playing tricks on you, or if it wasn’t some random man breaking into your apartment and your brain had created a new, fantastic defense mechanism. But no, the longer you took him in, the more similarities you managed to notice: the scar in the corner of his eye, his unevenly clipped fingernails, strong but dry hands, olive skin, slim lips, long, slightly furrowed eyebrows. The not-so-hidden gentleness in his gaze as he was taking you in himself.
“It’s really you.” You managed to breathe out.
“You’re so beautiful.” He answered and his voice was slowly starting to make you feel these similar butterflies. “So, so magnificent.” He continued. You felt your cheeks heat up and he seemed to drink that reaction in. “Will you talk to me more? You sound angelic. I did not think that you could sound even better than you did through the phone but I guess you will never fail to surprise me, sweetheart.” He did not move an inch. He just looked at you, and you still didn’t know how to react, but you were slowly coming to terms with the fact that it was not a weird dream. He was here and he didn’t appear to have bad intentions. At least you wanted to believe that.
“You’re still trembling. Are you really that scared of me?” He pressed his lips into a line.
“I’m sorry. I just… I’m just not sure what is happening. I had no idea you were… real.” He laughed softly at that.
“You wound me, kitten. Is that your way of unleashing your little claws?” He continued with a small smile on his lips and you couldn’t take it. He looked… stressed. And you thought that was new for him. You spend so many hours playing with him in l&d but you have never seen him so stressed.
Everything that came out of his mouth was slow and precise, not a word was spoken without a purpose. However you could see by his appearance that he was uncertain.
“Of course I’m real. And all the time we spent together is real too. Was it so wrong of me to expect that you would be at least a little bit happier to see me?” He was starting to look hurt. But not angry, not displeased. More concerned than anything, and that was when most of your worries started to disappear. He was your Sylus. He really was.
“I am happy to see you. I really am.” You said truthfully, the fear slowly dissolving. “What are you doing here? How did it happen?.”
“When you left me, I was worried to death. I had to come see that you were alright for myself.” He said, not taking his eyes from you. “I found a path between our worlds, and first I sent Mephisto after you. And that was how I knew you were fine, just busy.” He started explaining slowly and put two fingers at the bridge of his nose. This gesture was so familiar that you felt a slight pang in your chest. “Which l understand. But you stopped visiting completely and I panicked that I lost you. And that you lost your interest in me. And when you logged in today I guess I just lost control over myself.”
“I had to see you. I had to feel you. I needed to know that you will never leave me like that again. But how could I be so sure if you thought I was not real, sweetie?” His voice carried a hint of a ridicule. He smirked slowly and you allowed yourself to relax. You spend so much time with him on your phone, that you knew when he really needed reassurance. And it was the first time you saw him being so honest about his own feelings.
You decided to step closer to him and his eyes widened slightly. His body tightened because of the sudden change in proximity, and when you gently touched his hand, bringing it to your mouth, he appeared to be rendered speechless.
“I would never leave you, Sy. At least not without saying goodbye first. You are my safe space, remember?” You said quietly and smiled at him brightly, reminding him of what you had written in your game bio. And then you brought his knuckles to your lips and placed a soft kiss upon them. His hands were much warmer than you expected them to be. They felt harsh, but gentle.
The next thing you heard was a soft grunt and you felt yourself suddenly being lifted in the air. You yelped and found yourself pressed against his big, solid chest. Sylus hugged your body to his by wrapping both of his arms around your torso, and when he realized that you weren’t comfortable, he put one hand under your thighs and brought your body to his by your waist. You let your arms wrap around his neck and squeezed, and he buried his head in the crook of your neck. You heard him inhale your scent and his breath became rigged, as if he could not contain his excitement. You also became familiar with his scent. He smelled so manly and comforting, you could catch some notes of wood and leather, and something surprisingly sweet.
“You smell divine. You’re so soft, so warm.” He breathed against your neck and you felt goosebumps spreading throughout your whole body. You were so embarrassed, you felt like you needed to release some tension.
“I did not expect you to be so open with me. You’re usually the teasing type.” He chucked deeply and put his forehead against yours, while closing his eyes. Your cheeks burned. You couldn’t believe it wasn’t a dream.
“There will be a time for teasing you, kitten.” He rubbed his forehead against yours slowly. “Right now let me enjoy you for a bit. I can’t believe I finally got to see you.” He squeezed you harder to him. You reciprocated the hug with all you had. You were actually kind of scared that your grip was too hard, but he seemed to bask in it. “Communicating through that small device was not nearly enough for me. I could always see you and I heard your little responses to everything I was saying. But it took me some time to figure out how to change some things up.” Your eyes went wide at the mention of your reactions, you knew that a lot of times there were beyond embarrassing but you decided your blush to speak for itself. But what truly caught your attention was how he managed to appear in your home.
“Change things up?? You must have made such a mess, will it really be okay?” The concern in your voice made him look up and find your eyes with his. You were now looking at his beautiful red eyes, so full of adoration and determination. You could see that the consequences of his actions did not matter to him at all.
“Sweetie, I would gladly burn the world down for you, even if it meant that I could see you just once.” You swallowed audibly and proceeded to shy away from his piercing gaze. You started to feel unworthy of such attention, you couldn’t quite grasp what exactly made him care about you to such extend. “Fortunately for everyone, the process did not involve starting an intergalactic war.” He smirked slowly, his eyes finding your lips and staying there for much longer than necessary. “Yet.”
You chuckled at that and proceeded to bury your fingers in his hair, stroking the strands with care. They were so soft to the touch, they reminded you of silk. He closed his eyes and let you touch him to your heart’s content. Your hand quickly found its way to his forehead, and then to his cheek, stroking the skin delicately. You couldn’t believe how someone so handsome could really exist.
“See something you like, kitten?” He said and nuzzled into your palm, pressing a kiss right there. ”You will have all the time in the world to touch me, when we arrive in the N109 Zone.” He seemed so peaceful, so content with himself, but the mention of the N109 Zone stopped you in your tracks. You tensed visibly and he opened his eyes, noticing the change in your posture.
“The N109 Zone?” You asked puzzled. “Are you taking me away for a weekend?” You took your hand from his face and he used his Evol to bring it back to his cheek. The mist around your fingers felt weird, but not unpleasant.
“For a weekend? No, no.” He locked his eyes with yours, his head slowly closing the distance between you. He licked his lips and looked at your mouth once again. “I am taking you away forever.” And before his lips managed to touch yours, you flinched. Your hands quickly pushed him away and the panic returned to your features.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I meant what I said. Pack your bags if you believe there is something that I cannot provide for you quickly enough, and we will be off shortly.” He said matter of factly, kind of annoyed by the distance you decided to put between you. “Luke and Kieran have already prepared a room for you, although I think that you will have more than enough space for your belongings in mine.” His eyes brightened with excitement that you unfortunately could not share. Instead, you lightly pushed his torso, making him lower you to the ground grudgingly. His brows were once again furrowed.
“I can’t go with you Sylus. At least, not for forever”
“You can. We can stay together for the rest of our lives and no one would have any objections. I took care of everything.” He reached to grab your forearm and stroked it softly with his thumb. He was so sure of everything he was saying, that you could feel how much he let himself get lost in his fantasy. It did make you feel wanted, loved even. But no matter how happy you were that he was real, and apparently shared your feelings, you couldn’t agree to his plan.
“No, Sylus. I need to stay here, I have built my whole life in this place.” You could feel how much your words shocked him. He was looking at you so puzzled as if he didn’t think that you declining his offer was even an option. “I can’t leave everything that I managed to achieve, I really am content with my life, despite how complicated it can be.” You said truthfully. A part of you wanted to go with him, to feel safe and cherished for, for the rest of your life but you knew that was not realistic. You wanted to achieve more, you wanted to have your own life and your own space. You needed to be independent, to feel that you were perfectly capable of caring for yourself and your own needs.
“I do not understand. Don’t you want to be with me?” It pained you how quickly he jumped to that conclusion. And you hated the look on his face - it made you feel like you were betraying him.
”I do want to! Oh my god— I really, really do want to Sylus. I don’t think that I can live without spending time with you anymore.” You smiled at him, and took hold of his huge, rugged hand. “But I can’t live with you in the N109 Zone. I can’t leave my whole life behind.” And the fact that he wanted to make you do that somewhat scared you. Made you feel distressed.
“I see.” He sounded deep in thought. Then, he broke the eye contact for a second, looked at his hand in your hold and before you could even react, he grabbed your body gently with his Evol and picked you up. Your whole body was above ground and although you felt secured, you looked at him with surprise.
“What are you doing?” You wanted to get free from the hold of the mist, but it was impossible with how tight it was. “Sylus, you have to let me go.” You tried not to panic, you knew that you weren’t in danger. But he looked relentless, unforgiving as if his mind was already set in stone.
“No. I can’t. Not now when I finally got to have you.” He looked up at you, with his eyebrows still furrowed, and you could hear a hint of a growl in his voice. “If you do not wish to go with me, I guess I would have to take you by force.”
It was then that you felt a sense of panic. You knew him, and you knew that if he wants something, he always gets it. It just did not cross your mind that he would ever go against your own wishes.
“No. No, no, no, Sylus, please calm down.” He narrowed his eyes and stood almost motionless before you, devoid of almost any emotion. Almost, if not for the desperation shining through his movements. “You cannot take me away. At least not for now. But I will do anything you ask me to! You can also stay here for some time, and visit me whenever you want to, I swear, I would be so happy to have you.” You just needed him to listen. You knew that you could change his mind, he always listened to what you had to say, he just needed a little bit of persuasion. Maybe he didn’t even think about alternative options?
“And I would make you happy in the N109 Zone with me.” You laughed with disbelief. He was completely missing your point. You decided to once again yank your hands from the grasp of his mist, and then hissed with pain when it did not loosen up its hold. “Your struggle is futile, please stop, I do not wish for you to get hurt.” He was annoyed with you and your disobedience. He did not think that you would have any objections, he started loosing his cool.
“You would never let me get hurt.” You answered, wanting to assure yourself of it as well. You didn’t like how commanding he sounded.
“Yes.” There was no doubt in his voice. “Yes, you know I would stop at nothing to protect you.” His gaze never wavered from yours. He truly thought that what he was doing was for the best. And you just had to let him know how wrong his approach was.
“Yes! Yes I do know that! Because I know you, Sy.” You started to sound as if you were pleading. Deep down it scared you, send uncomfortable shivers down your spine. “I know you, and I know that you also know me.”
He placed his hand on his heart.
“And I adore every single piece of information. And I still wish to know you much, much better.” You tensed when you noticed that his right eye was starting to glow. You did not know if that was intentional, or just a trick of the light.
“Then you MUST know how much this life means to me. How much I like my stupid job, and how much I love the people that are here for me. My friends, my family.” You noticed that your reasoning started to get to him when he clenched his fists and avoided your eyes for a second. “And you have to know how much it would hurt me if you were to take me away from them.” He appeared taken aback. It seemed that his longing for you clouded his judgement, and now he started to notice the faults in his plan.
“But I cannot stand to be apart from you anymore, sweetie.” In normal circumstances that would be so touching to you. But nothing about this situation was normal, and you guessed you just had to show him how normal looked like.
“You won’t be. You can visit me anytime you want. Stay for how long you want.” You wanted that too. So bad.
“But that is not ENOUGH.” It was the first time you heard his raised voice and you started to tremble. His outburst must’ve thrown him off guard too, because he wavered and the grip he had on you loosed. You acted instinctively. You freed yourself from the mist and started to run towards your door. And although he was stunned by your reaction, he quickly teleported so that you ran straight into his chest. His hands grabbed yours in order to protect you from falling due to the impact.
He gently caressed your now slightly red forehead and sighed loudly. You could hear that he was hurt. You cried out from frustration.
“If you really thought that you could run away from me then you must be a total fool.” He tucked your hair behind your ear and lifted your chin up with his finger. “Usually I like playing cat and mouse with you, but I do not like the fact that you appear genuinely scared of me right now.” He hugged your waist and brought you closer to him, lowering his head at the same time. “And that you tried to run away from me when I only want to offer you my protection.”
“It doesn’t sound like protection, it sounds like imprisonment.” You used strong words, but you sounded so small. You did not know what to do with him, you were so scared. ”I’m just scared. I tried to run away because you scared me, Sylus.” You sounded desperate for him to understand you. To look past his own clouded vision.
“You do not have to fear me. I just want what is best for you. For us.” His grip on your waist tightened, and he also proceeded to grab your wrist.
“No. You only want what is best for you. You are not listening to me. I do care about you Sylus, but I cannot leave this place.” You tried to stand your ground but you two never argued before. It was an unfamiliar ground to you, especially when it was the first time that you had a conversation in person. Everything felt more intense and dangerous when you remembered the extreme measures he was always willing to take to achieve his goals.
“You can. And I will make you leave.” He almost growled and a cloud of black and red mist surrounded both of you, and that was enough to bring tears into your eyes.
”Sylus, no, please, I don’t want to. Please, just listen to me, please.” And it was at that moment he started to came into his senses. Your quiet voice and your eyes full of tears made his breathing stop. It was the first time he was seeing you react like this. He hated how broken you sounded. How small. “I’m so scared, Sy, please stop scaring me.” Your voice sounded choked and you could feel that the tears started streaming down your face. Every single one physically hurt him. It was your first meeting and he already made you so miserable. He wanted to scream. “Please.” You tried once again and it shocked you that it finally worked on him.
He tensed and released you from his grip. The mist also dissipated as he took a step back from you. You could hear him breathing deeply.
“I cannot do this." He sounded panicked. “I did not want to scare you, and I cannot listen to your little broken pleas. They break my heart.” He hidden his face in his hands and curled in himself. He felt as if someone pierced his heart with a knife and twisted it. He could not bring himself to look at your beautiful heartbroken face again. “They really do. Please, just stop crying. You won.”
You sniffed softly and touched your wet cheeks. You tried to calm yourself down, he finally listened to you.
“It does not feel so good this time for some reason.” You answered, referring to your Kitty Card battles. You wanted to relieve the tension somehow. You knew that he didn’t want to hurt you, you understand that he lives in a different reality where danger awaits everywhere. You could understand why he wanted to have you beside him at all times. But it scared you how insistent he was, how brutal and final. “Do you really understand why I got so scared?”
He nodded helplessly. “I won’t steal you away. Not when I know how much you despise the idea of spending the rest of your time with me.” You noticed how hard he was pressing his hands to his face and you grabbed them in your own. He let you uncover his eyes and you saw how much it hurt him to let you go.
“Oh, Sy.” You whispered and hugged his hands to your chest. “You know that’s not the reason.”
“Stop calling me that. It drives me crazy.” He breathed and met your eyes. “You drive me crazy. What am I going to do with you? How can I make sure you are safe now?” You took his hands and made him follow you into your bedroom. You sat on your bed and urged him to do the same. This way you could finally talk with him more comfortably.
“Sylus, we have to talk about it.” You squeezed his hands and he looked at yours and took notice of how much smaller they were in comparison to his. So fragile, so breakable. He couldn’t stand it. His whole body longed to protect you. “I do not despise the idea of spending my time with you. I just can’t randomly leave everything I know and love. And this world is different from the one you know, we have our dangers but no one wants my head.” You explained to him slowly. “There are no Wanderers. No protocores.” He looked conflicted.
“I already know that sweetheart. I do. But when you disappeared for such a long time I couldn’t help but think that something bad happened to you” he gritted through his teeth. “I nearly lost my mind looking for you everywhere. It was terrifying, that thought in my mind and the idea that I would never have another chance to speak with you. To see you.” He touched your forearms and brought you a little closer to him. “And when Mephisto found you safe and sound I thought that I never want to feel that fear, that helplessness again. And the only way to do that is to keep you beside me at all times. To guard you with my own body and soul.” He took your hand and rested it on his chest. You could feel the fast and steady rhythm of his heart. You could feel his desperation, his complete devotion. And it almost made you tear up.
“I-I’m so sorry that I made you worry this much.” He studied your face with intention and you shake your head. “But I didn’t even know that you were real. I really though it was just a game that made me feel less alone and now…” You swallowed audibly. “Now I know that everything I built with you during our time together was very much real and I’m still having trouble to wrap my head around it to be honest.” I smiled at him softly and he nodded with understanding.
“And then you came in and wanted to kidnap me to a world much more dangerous than mine where I do not have my close ones and—“
“I did NOT mean for that to be a kidnapping I though that you shared my sentiment, and also wanted to spend some time—“
“SOME time?? Sylus you wanted me to switch literal worlds and live with you in your freaking villa in the middle of nowhere—”
”I live in an apartment that has a fantastic location, mind you, and you would feel so comfortable in—“
”Apartament??? You cannot possibly be a freaking leader of Onychinus and live in an apartment complex, are you being serious with me right now??”
“Have you ever heard of a saying that the darkest place is under the candlestick, kitten? Besides there is no one in the whole N109 zone that would pose and actual threat to me—” He cut off when he met your eyes full of laughter, and then he heard that beautiful sound. You burst into giggles right in front of him and you touched him by the bicep and brought his forehead to yours. He couldn’t help but chuckle too, understanding the absurdity of the situation. Feeling your forehead against his, hearing your adorable chuckles and inhaling your sweet scent made him feel so at peace that he closed his eyes to embrace the moment completely. He couldn’t believe that he almost ruined your relationship by being so selfish.
“I missed this. This back and forth with you” You said and he chucked deeply. “I really am happy to see you, Sy. And I swear that we will be able to talk and spent time with each other more often now. And actually see each other in person.” He nuzzled into your face more and you caught his smirk by the corner of your eye. “We can stay in touch at all times, so that you won’t have to worry about my safety so much.”
“So bossy, kitten.” He answered, but the small smile did not leave his face. He couldn’t make it go away even if he tried. “Forgive me for scaring you earlier. I was not thinking straight. I was just so elated to finally have you in my arms that I let my selfishness get the best of me, and for that I’m sorry. I did not want to ruin our first meeting, sweetie.” You hugged him by bringing your arms around his chest and he closed his eyes drinking in the proximity. You were too small, too adorable, too attractive for him to take it. Too honest. Too lovable. Made just for him to adore. To protect.
“You did not ruin anything.” You said into his shirt, hugging him tighter. “I understand you, Sylus. And I like you a little selfish if it means that’s what brought you to me” He smiled into your hair and reluctantly let go of your fragile frame. He touched your chin and delicately lifted your face up to face him. His eyes were once again drinking you in, committing every single one of your features to his memory. He sighed contentedly.
“Selfishness was not the reason of my visit.” You could see how his eyes softened and you felt your chest squeeze. You brushed his cheek, loving the way how he seemed to relish in your touch. His eyes wandered to your lips: pink, plump and so inviting. “Adoration was. The complete love and devotion that I have felt for you for quite some time now.” You gasped quietly and opened your lips slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.
“Sy—”
“And I guess a little emotional push was what made me finally find my way to you, my beloved.” He half-whispered, leaned in, and pressed his lips to yours, locking you in a sweet, passionate kiss that went on and on, seeming to deepen with every minute you spent in his embrace.
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙
#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#sylus qin#sylus#sylus x reader#sylus fluff#sylus angst#l&ds sylus#sylus x you#sylus smut#lads sylus#sylus meeting#sylus real meeting#i was going insane#i think i like my men touch-starved#and desperate#and a liiiitle bit emotionally unstable tbh#pls don’t judge#im definitely not a writer#im just a girl with her silly little sylus obsession#eng is not my first language#and thank god for that#i think i have two brains now#and they both think about sylus in an unhealthy amount#welp
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And I'm SO happy you're back, my lovely Wayne!! Of course, you decide to spoil me with this review the minute you dip back into this hellsite. 😘
(yesss, and don't think I didn't see that chapter you dropped of Polaris! When I get back from my vacay I will be diving into that. I need to know what happens next with our favorite cowboy sheriff 🤠)
I'm very glad and grateful you made the time to start ESC! I had so much fun figuring out Russell Shaw and the Tracker cast -- especially with all them Deanisms. 😏
Diving into the rest of your awesome comments below!! 💕
First of, Professor Goldstein is a piece of work... 😒 I wouldn't blame her for spitting into his coffee every time he calls her sweetheart. But Russell, I see you. She's gonna be so annoyed with him 😂
Oh he's a piece of something, all right. 🙄 She could def pull a Rachel on his ass. And Russell...lmao, you already saw where he's heading with this. 😂
Ooooh, another professor character paired with some rugged Mountain Man 😏 I'm addicted to those couples. She's all business up front, and he's all party in the back (seat of his Chevelle) 🤪
LOLL the way it didn't even occur to me when I was writing this (at first) that I was writing another professor paired with a law enforcement (sort of, in Russell's case), man of action type, like in Take Me Home with Beau Arlen. 😝 I came at it with the thought of, "what if she was Dory's best friend, and they worked together at the university?" I must have a thing for writing nerds who get the rugged, sexy Mountain Man. Not at all fulfilling a personal fantasy.
UGH. The nerve!!!!! Massage therapist????? How about I step on your back with my high heels, bro... And then to go on about his trip and parasailing... Guess it's true. Ignorant people are happier 😂
Fuck YES, I'd be high-stepping up and down his spine fr. 🤣 Ignorance is bliss, I guess? 🤷🏽♀️
Or why are campuses so big in general? My university actually had several faculties strewn throughout the city. Sometimes it took an hour and several subway rides to get to your next lecture 😅
Oooh my God, now THAT's crazy! A whole subway ride(s)?? I've worked/gone to school on some big campuses, but that takes the cake. I guess you get your daily workout one way or another lol!
Please tell me Russell's in the room when she said that 😄🤞
Big YEP lmfaoo, and he likes her already because of it. 😂
Ooooh, right! I wonder how much she knows about the Shaws. Not something that comes casually up in the cafetaria I imagine 😅
No it would not, lmfao! But that is something that will be explored (how much she knows) in the chapters to come, for sure!
Love this whole exchange. You're making my dreams come true, babe 😘
Ahaha I had to do the little callback to sriracha fries (and figure out how tf to spell sriracha, first of all. 😂)
I keep thinking he probably has that look now because he was in the army for so long. Young Russell was pretty much young Dean Winchester in a uniform (hello there, soldier 😏)
Ooh that's SUCH a good point (and yumm). It's making me hope that we get a flashback of Russell in his military days someday in Tracker.
Well... It's a toss-up, I'd say 😆
Oh, very much a toss up/personal preference there lmao. I've loved Justin Hartley since his Smallville days as Green Arrow. 😆 But in this case, I felt like Russell would try to claim top billing there loll.
In. His. Car 🚩🚩🚩😂 If any strange man said that to you... 🚩🤣
Honestly, it's amazing how many red flags you ignore when someone's charming and handsome. 🤣🤣🤣
Well, at least, Colter has an Airstream 😅🤷♀️
Ha!! True, it's beating out Russell's crusty motel of the week by far, I'd say.
He is a professional flirt. Kind eyes...
Oh don't worry, we're getting to that callback. 😏
Dear God, he does not stop, does he? 😆 (On the show, I loved his persistence with Reenie too, even though it was mainly just to annoy Colter. But you captured him beautifully here with this sort of charm 🥰) PS: schmutz, schlep... I love the sprinkles of Yiddish in this 🤓
In fact, he does not! lmfao That was what I loved about it too -- like maybe half of him is serious, and the other half just wants to needle Colter. 🤣
Aw I'm glad you caught that! lol I'm not Jewish, but for some reason it just felt right for these characters. 💜
STOP IT! And he upgraded too!!! 🤣
He absolutely did!! And this time, it actually worked! 🤣🤣
I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS! Gah, this was fabulous! I'm hooked! 😍👏 Are they gonna stay casual? Something about her brooding and reluctance tells me it's not usually her style? Which means, will he eventually settle? Get out of the dangerous hitman-nomad life?
Ooh my goodness, I'm so glad to hear that, friend! You're right. I don't think I full on state it, but "casual" is typically not her style. Also, Russell is Dory's brother, so she doesn't want there to be any weirdness or awkwardness between them if something happened or fell out between the reader and Russell.
She already knows his relationship with Dory is kind of fragile, in that they're still in that "reconnecting" phase. You'll see more of that dynamic and her thoughts in Part 2, but the rest of your questions will most definitely be explored throughout this little series. 😏
And then there's the stories about their respective families. We already know some about Russell's. How is she gonna react if she learns everything? And there's something odd about her private life as well. Can't wait to dive into that bombshell 😂
There's a lot to unpack there, right? There's a great deal that she already knows through Dory, and some things that are going to be revealed along the way...
Zep, my sweet genius Alex, you've outdone yourself once again. Bravo!!! 👏👏👏
You make me blush!! Thank you so much. 😭🥰 If you like this chapter, then I think you're going to enjoy the rest of the series. I hope it's as fun for you to read as it was for me to write!! 💕💕
A Line and a Half
Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader
Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.
AN: Okay, here’s my first toe-dip into the world of Tracker with Russell Shaw! 1x12 gave me too many ideas not to explore this intriguing character. This is set before episode 12, but I have a little series I want to sketch out that will continue after this one-shot, so think of this as a “Part 1,” if you will. 😉
Word Count: 3.2K
Tags/Warnings: A kind of “meet cute,” attempts at flirting, and hints of setup for more to come…
You watched, silently simmering, as Dr. Goldstein added yet another packet of internship applications from his graduate students onto your desk.
Applicants that he, as the History Department Chairman, was supposed to review himself. Instead, he’d been adding these hours quite literally onto your desk.
“If you could review these for me as well, sweetheart. Thank you,” he said. “Get ‘em back to me by Thursday, okay?”
As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name, you once again grated internally at sweetheart, but you tried to keep that cringe off your face as well.
Goldstein barely even met your eyes when he dropped off his burden, and then aimed to leave your office.
“Uh, Paul,” you called out, raising a finger. You stood from your desk as quickly as you could in your pencil skirt, but the man was already out the door. You followed him out, your heels clacking on the tile floor.
Damn it. Knew I should’ve gone with pants, you said, continuing to hasten after your boss.
“Paul! Just a second,” you said. That finally managed to turn the man’s head off of his phone. He glanced at you while checking his watch.
“About the internship applications…and your midterm exam essays for that matter. Don’t you think—” you started to say, but the man spoke over you.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,” he said, and rolled a seemingly stiff shoulder under his tailored blazer. “Something’s just not right here after my trip to Cali last weekend. I don’t know what I did, pulled muscle or something. But hey, they do say parasailing is a sport.”
You quirked a brow. “Do they?”
You weren’t sure that being strapped into a parachute for a nice air glide over the Pacific counted as a sport.
Goldstein shrugged at your question and he kept walking down the hall. Though he turned back to toss you a pointed finger.
“Need those by Thursday. Thanks, you’re the best,” he said.
You watched him go, as proverbial steam began to escape through your ears. Slowly you pivoted on your heels, and you went back to your office. You grimaced at the large stack of applications. You were pretty sure he padded them with an extra section of midterm exams.
Tapping your nails on your desk, you grabbed your phone next to your desktop and checked the time. 11:30 a.m.
Screw it. I’m going to lunch, you thought.
Dory had to be out of her Intro Physics class by now, which meant she’d be in her office, ready for you to drop in on her a little early. You took up your purse and almost made it out the door…but at the last moment, your anal brain made you turn back to grab a shoulder bag and the pile of applications. Maybe you could knock out a few during lunch.
Friggin’ doormat, as your brother would say. Laughing at you, probably.
You rolled your eyes and headed back out the door with your haul of papers, purse, work bag, and keys, locking your office behind you.
Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?
It was damn near a mile walk from your Humanities building over to Dory’s office on the second floor. Your hands were laden with packets that couldn’t be contained by your heavy work bag, your purse was slipping off your shoulder, and these heels were killing your feet.
It was a miracle you and Dory had ever met on this campus. On your first day of teaching, you’d of course been hopelessly lost. Somehow you ended up at the tail-end of one of her classes in one of the science auditoriums.
She’d been gracious enough to help you, and even walked you all the way to the Humanities building so you could find your World History class before the students decided to just get up and leave. (And after fifteen minutes, they very well would.)
That day, she became your first real friend at Wyoming University. In the three years since, she’d become your best friend.
And now, her door was mercifully open halfway. You pushed it open and stumbled just a little from the transition of tile to carpet inside her office. Your papers nearly flew from your hands, so you struggled to right yourself and contain them all back into the semblance of neatness.
“Hey, girl. You better be ready for lunch because Jesus fucking Christ. Goldstein’s up my ass again and all I’ve had today is a crusty donut from the teacher’s lounge, which I’m pretty sure was stale,” you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.
When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasn’t alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.
He was leaning casually with an elbow propped up on her desk, dressed in jeans and a worn, pale green jacket—a good match for his eyes. He looked a little rugged for Dory’s tastes, but you couldn’t fault her, with the cut of that bearded jaw, and the smile raising the corners of his lips.
“Hey,” Dory laughed. “I see you’re having a good day.”
You bit your lip in embarrassment, probably smudging your lipstick.
“I’m so sorry. I should’ve knocked first,” you said, though you could see she seemed to be having an actual good day. Office picnic? Or maybe the handsome stranger was getting ready to take her out.
Dory just waved you in. She stood and set a hand on her companion’s shoulder, and he got up along with her.
“It’s okay. This is my brother, Russell,” she said, and she introduced you in kind.
“Well, hi there,” he said. He subtly took you in with his eyes as he held out his hand. Already you felt your face heating up with more than just embarrassment.
You were a bit shocked as well, to say the least. Dory had told you some…interesting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers. You wondered which one this was, the middle child, or the eldest.
“Hi! Sorry. Again. Nice to meet you,” you said. You tried to hold your hand out to reach his, but a few papers began to spill out. You clutched at them on reflex, but Russell drew in quickly to help you.
“Got yourself a load there,” he said. You agreed with an awkward laugh and a shrug of your shoulders.
“My boss’s idea of extra credit,” you said wryly.
“You can set it down on that chair over there,” Dory said, pointing to one against the back wall, next to a tall filing cabinet.
You and Russell meandered over and managed to set down the stack without casualty. You were able to pull up the straps of your bag and your purse from falling off your shoulder and give him a grateful look.
“Thanks,” you said.
“No problem,” he said, giving you an easy smile back. “I actually crashed in unannounced, so if you two wanna to head to lunch, you go right ahead.”
“Uh, no. I haven’t seen you in months! You should come with us,” Dory said. She grabbed her purse to join you and Russell by the door.
You raised your hands in placation. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other. You guys should catch up.”
Dory shook her head and grabbed your hand.
“Uh, uh. I want to hear the latest on Paul’s bullshit, and why you’re carrying half your office across campus. Let’s go,” she said, and gestured at your work bag. “Leave that here. You’re gonna eat and talk to me. No working involved.”
You laughed, but you agreed to her cajoling. With another glance at her brother, and those green eyes that seemed to be dancing, you joined them for lunch.
The three of you ended up at a diner that you and Dory frequented at least once a week. The food was good, the service was quick, and it was close to campus. Wins all around. Russell seemed to be enjoying himself, as he hummed in delight after the very first bite of his Philly cheesesteak.
“Sriracha on fries, huh?” you remarked, gesturing at the man’s plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile.
“I said avert your eyes,” he teased. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.”
Ugh. Another sweethearting man. You narrowed your own eyes at him a bit. He caught the look and raised a hand in defense (the one that wasn’t holding his cheesesteak).
“Uh oh. What’d I do?” he asked.
“You gave her some PTSD,” Dory said with a laugh. “Dr. Goldstein likes to sugar coat his demands with sexism.”
Russell noted your souring look with apology. You’d just finished recounting your morning for your friend, and recapping years of “sugar-coated demands” for Russell.
“Why don’t you just tell him to cram it up his…uh…” he paused. Seeing his little sister’s look of amusement, he amended. “Or you know, stuff it.”
A smile twitched at your lips. “Oh, believe me, I’d love to tell him to stuff it. But he’s technically my boss, and the department chair. Even though I’ve basically been doing his job for two years now.”
“Well, that sucks,” Russell said. “And I feel for ya. I’ve had my share of shitty bosses in my time.”
You sighed and accepted his commiseration with a nod.
It wasn’t fair, but Goldstein planned to retire early in a few years. Must be nice.
When he did, it would make you the most likely candidate to replace him as department chair. The way you saw it, this was giving you plenty of practice before you (hopefully) inherited the position.
Anyway, you shook your head. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were more curious about one Russell Shaw. You now knew he was an army vet, and he carried himself like one. Calm, controlled, even though his smiles came easy. His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.
“So let me guess. You’re…the eldest?” you asked. You blotted at your mouth with a napkin, having finished your chicken panini.
Russell treated you to another one of those smiles, though this one held a hint of more.
“Guilty. Though I’m the handsome one,” he said with a wink.
You found yourself smiling behind your napkin.
“I’m sure,” you replied.
Dory rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him. Apparently my brother’s an incorrigible flirt.”
He chuckled and sipped at his beer, but then he grimaced.
“Ech. Friggin’ weak,” he said. “I brew better than this outta the trunk of my car.”
You raised a brow at that. “You make your own beer?”
“Damn straight,” he said. His gaze turned a hint more playful. “Next time I’ll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.”
You shared a telling look with Dory.
“Next time, huh?” you asked.
“Sure,” he inclined his head. “I pop into town from time to time. Gotta check in and pester my little sister, the physics professor.”
He laid a hand on Dory’s shoulder, squeezing warmly. You could see the pride in his eyes, and it warmed you as well.
She turned to him with a smile, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.
“You don’t pester me. I’d love it if I got to see you more often,” she said.
“Ah, I know, I’m sorry,” he said, releasing her. “My job’s got me all over the place. But I’ll be here for a week or so on this gig.”
That intrigued you. “What do you do for work?”
“Ah, well, you could say I'm a contractor. Private security mainly,” said Russell. His shoulders shifted as he became a little more guarded, you noticed. “My company connects me with the client for as long as the job lasts. Could be a few months, sometimes a few days, depending.”
“Oh, wow. Do you live here in Wyoming?” you asked. He paused, but tilted his head a little, back and forth as he considered your question.
“I kinda bounce around,” he said. “Just go from one job to the next. Sounds a bit unorthodox, I know, but it’s a living.”
“Interesting,” you nodded, but inside, you thought that sounded like a hard way to live.
Unstable…and lonely.
“You know, it’s amazing how much you and Colter have in common,” Dory said. She folded her hands on the table and met her brother with a pointed look.
He huffed in response, though he glanced at you, then back at his sister. As if he was saying, You really want to do this now?
Dory had told you before that Colter was a “rewardist,” or some kind of bounty hunter. The nature of his work kept him busy, and seemingly too busy for his sister. But you also sensed there was an edgier history here.
For the first time, you felt like you were intruding in a moment between brother and sister that went beyond words.
After a moment, Russell shook his head.
“Look, I tried with him, all right? He won’t talk to me,” he said. He went back to eating, polishing off his fries. He offered you one that was half-smothered in sriracha.
“Come on. Live on the edge with me,” he teased.
You eyed the sauce-covered fry in distaste, but after glancing up at his more playful smile, you accepted his offer. You chewed in contemplation, and found that the tangy hint of kick wasn’t so bad.
“Eh? Eeeh? Delicious, am I right?” he said, his hands going wide.
You rolled your eyes, but you nodded in agreement.
“It’s all right,” you replied.
“Yes!” Russell’s hands swept up higher, like he was celebrating a touchdown. "See, I told ya."
You couldn’t help but laugh. Dory shook her head fondly and gave him a clean napkin for the bit of schmutz she spotted at the corner of his mouth.
“Here, wipe your sriracha face.”
“You really don’t have to,” you said, as Russell helped you gather your stack of papers and slung your work bag over his shoulder.
“No, no. I’m a bonafide gentleman. Ain’t that right, D?” he asked his sister. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, but she did give you a knowing smile.
“Oh, his intentions are pure,” she said.
And by that, you both understood her meaning. His intentions couldn’t be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.
This man really carried your stuff from the Sciences building across the entire campus to your office. All the while, he asked you about how you and Dory met, the kinds of things you two did together, and if you thought she was happy working here.
You had a feeling he was trying to learn more about his sister’s life. On one hand, it was rather sweet. On the other, it made you realize that there was distance in this family, both literal and figurative. You were glad to hear that Russell, at least, was trying to bridge that gap with his sister. Dory deserved to have more of that in her life.
As you explained to Russell while you led him down the hall to your office, your friendship with her had just…clicked. From the very beginning.
“Dory, you know. She’s more than kind,” you said. “She’s a real one. I can rely on her, even when I can’t rely on my own family.”
Russell hummed at that. “That sounds like a story.”
“Yeah,” you said, glancing away for a moment. You smiled and met his gaze once more. “Maybe one for another time.”
“So you’re on board with a ‘next time.’ Good to know,” Russell remarked. Your smile deepened.
It was good timing when you two finally reached your office. You unlocked it and let him inside, so he could set down your bag, and the god-forsaken stack of internship applications back onto your desk. You’d probably be stuck here working late on those.
“Well, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to schlep for me,” you said.
When you turned, Russell was a bit close. Not uncomfortably so, but enough to make a trill of something zip up your spine. You smelled more intensely his cologne, woodsy and warm. Looking up at him, you once again found his smile.
“It’s no problem,” he said, but his eyes met yours for a moment, as if he lost his train of thought.
“What?” you asked, a bit nervous.
“Anybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?” he asked.
It took your brain a second or two to compute, but when his words registered, you had to laugh. You held it behind your hand, while the other went to steady yourself on your desk.
“Well, that’s a line if I’ve ever heard one,” you said, shading your “soulful” eyes with a hand.
You didn’t know it, but Russell’s face warmed in slight embarrassment. He recovered though, taking in your pretty laugh, and the shade of your hair, let loose around your shoulders, and yes, your eyes, when you let him see them again.
If he hadn’t known before, now he was convinced.
He wanted to see more of you before he left town.
“Hey, now that was 100% genuine,” Russell said, but his grin spoke volumes. When your mirth died down, he scratched the back of his head.
“Okay, cards on the table. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me sometime?” he asked.
You took in a breath at that. You actually did consider his offer, because homebrew and sriracha fries be damned, there was something more to him. It was lying in wait, behind those eyes that were drawing you in.
However, this was also a man whose job basically made him a nomad. It didn’t exactly scream relationship material.
Which only left the alternative: something…casual.
You just didn’t know if that alternative was such a good idea. Not with your best friend’s brother.
“Just a drink. No frills, no more grilling you about my sister,” Russell said, breaking you from your deliberation. He gestured a hand between the two of you. “Just this. You and me.”
Eventually, you sighed. Your lips raised into a more genuine smile.
“Sometime, huh?” you asked.
He smiled back. “Tonight?”
You hesitated, but despite your better judgment, you nodded before you could change your mind. You still weren’t sure what to make of this guy, but you were willing to find out.
“Sure,” you said. “Howley’s at eight?”
“Well, all right,” Russell said.
He surprised you by sweeping up your hand into his. You looked up at him, curious, but not wary. Anticipation tingled down your spine.
He pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Soft shock made your eyes widen as you blushed, feeling the subtle graze of his beard against your skin.
Who is this guy, Cary Grant? you thought.
But when he pulled away, you had to remind yourself to breathe. Again, you caught sight of his cheeky grin.
“See you tonight,” he said.
AN: He is beauty he is grace, he is Mr. Sriracha Face. 😆
Let me know if you guys liked this! 💜 It's my first time writing a character based solely on one episode, but next up is a series that will continue this one-shot. It's called Every Second Counts.
Next Time in Part 1:
“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips.
You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still on the Wyoming University campus after your last class.
Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.
“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.
▶️ Keep Reading: Part 1
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im so curious-- how well does DUDrow get on with the other companions? I've only seen your art and going off that I feel like: he gets along with Shadowheart, Gale I think he borderline cant stand, and Wyll/Lae'zel/Karlach I have no idea how he'd feel about them but id love to know!
So, funfact, because I was not familiar with these kinds of games at the time I played BG3, I practically stuck with the same exact party the entire playthrough. I distinctly remember swapping Wyll in for Astarion once at the end of act 2 because I thought he NEEDED to be there to find Mizora, and I replaced Gale with Karlach when I went to kill Gortash. Otherwise... It was pretty much always just DU drow, Shadowheart, Astarion and Gale. I did this because they were the characters I liked most, so I wanted to see all they had to offer.
Anyways, I mention this because it reflects how DU drow related to everyone - which is to say that he didn't. He picked his favorites (two because he liked them, one because he has fireball) and didn't get particularly close to anyone else.
BUT, there were definitely notable dynamics!
Lae'zel: She's dead. He killed her night 3 or something. Before that he thought her annoyingly demanding and over the top. I don't think DU drow even remembers her by the end of the game.
Gale: Just to add to your original observation, Gale and DU drow have a little bit of history. Gale tries, for about half of the campaign, to pursue him romantically. DU drow keeps turning him down and is either misinterpreted or ignored, and by the time Gale does give up on him their relationship has completely soured to the point where they are constantly shooting daggers at each other. (this reflects a romance bug I got in my first run, except I didn't realize it was a bug. Either way I think its more interesting storytelling than the intended experience.)
Wyll: DU drow was profoundly frustrated by Wyll every step of the way. He found him to be incredibly naive and a bit delusional in his pursuit for heroism, and could never relate to Wyll's perspective or choices - the few he made for himself, at least. They definitely had the least in common and DU drow avoided interacting with him most of the time.
Halsin: He didn't care for Halsin much. He was vaguely helpful but by the time they got to the shadow-cursed lands DU drow had the impression he'd only been dragged here to help him clear his conscience, which he didn't appreciate. Also, he couldn't bear to have someone in camp be taller than himself. Halsin was left behind in Act 2.
Jaheira: DU drow fucking loves Jaheira. They bickered and borderline insulted each other and had a great time doing it. He can respect anyone who will call him a monster, threaten to murder him in his sleep, and make light fun at him the next day. It helps that she's hot, also.
Minsc: Weird hamster man. Ocasionally rendered him speechless. Puzzling human being.
Karlach: He didn't get Karlach, but he was often amused by her and curious enough to want to hear what she had to say. There was a similar issue here as Wyll's where he just couldn't relate to her enough to have much to discuss, but Karlach at least had an edge to her that made her far better company. They got along pretty well when the topic wasn't serious, but when it came to the problems she actually faced their perspectives shifted significantly. DU drow thought everything could be fixed, that accepting her own demise was a cowardly thing to do - and as they approached the end, and she asked him if he would stay with her when she died, he thought she was weak. I don't know if he ever discusses it with anyone, but he feels guilty about her death to this day and sees it as personal failure.
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Fragments of Us - Chapter 1. | c.sc
pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader
genre: angst, fluff, smut (MDNI)
warning(s): mentions of drinking, mention of not eating, car accident (character injury)
summary: two years after a messy breakup, seungcheol and yn reconnect unexpectedly.
word count: 6.3k
start date: nov. 20, 2024
end date: -
a/n: it's finally here! i am so nervous, and i really do hope you all enjoy:)<3
════════════════════════════
I step into my apartment, exhausted from another long day. I toss my bag on the couch and stretch, feeling the tight knots in my shoulders relax just a little. The rain outside tapped softly against my windows, a soothing rhythm that made me look forward to nothing more than a warm shower, a cup of tea, and my favorite book.
I head to the bathroom, brushing my hair back and running the water, letting the steam fill the room. As I reach for my toothbrush, my phone buzzes, startling me. Wiping my hands on a towel, I glance at the screen. An unknown number was calling. I hesitate for a moment but then ignore it. "Probably a telemarketer," I mutter to myself, returning to my routine. A few minutes later, I hear the familiar chime of a voicemail notification. Curious, I play the message.
"Hello, this is Dr. Kim from SVT Hospital. We're calling about Choi Seungcheol. He was brought in following a car accident earlier this evening, and you are listed as his emergency contact. Please return our call as soon as possible."
My heart stops as the words begin to echo in my head. Seungcheol. I hadn't heard that name in a little over a year. Yet here it was, suddenly bringing me back into a past I thought I had left behind. I stood for a moment, frozen, my mind racing. Why was I still his emergency contact? What had happened to him? Is he alive?
Without a second thought, I grab my jacket, keys, and phone and rush out the door, my hands shaking as I fumble to lock it behind me.
Outside, the storm had intensified. Rain lashes against the windshield of my car, the wipers struggling to keep up as I drive through the dark, slick streets. Lightning flickered in the distance, followed by the rumble of thunder, but I barely noticed. My mind was fixed on Seungcheol, on the possibility that he was hurt, on why he still had me listed as the person to call in an emergency. I hadn't prepared myself for this, for the sudden rush of emotions I thought I had buried long ago.
The drive felt endless, the storm making every turn and stoplight an agonizing wait. I begin to think of the last time we spoke and how cold and final our breakup had been. But now, all I can think about is getting to the hospital and seeing him, making sure he is okay.
When I finally arrive, I run through the rain, my shoes splashing through puddles as I rush into the emergency room. The harsh, sterile lights and the buzzing sounds of monitors greet me as I approach the front desk, out of breath. I tell the receptionist my name and Seungcheol's, and they direct me to the waiting area, where I'm told to wait for an update.
I sit down, my wet clothes sticking uncomfortably to my skin, my mind swirling with thoughts and memories. I look around at the other people sitting in the room, each lost in their own concerns, and try to steady my breathing, but it feels impossible. I clasp my hands together as if holding on to something slipping away.
As the minutes stretched on, my mind began to wander. I remember the first time I met Seungcheol through Jihoon, how he had shyly asked me out after multiple failed attempts. I thought of the late-night drives we used to take with no destination in mind, just enjoying the sound of each other's voices and the quiet moments in between. I could almost see his smile, hear his laugh, and feel the warmth of his hand in mine.
Thunder rumbled outside, louder this time, and I glanced at the window, seeing the rain still pouring down. The storm mirrored the turmoil inside me, a churning mix of worry, regret, and something else I couldn't quite name.
I close my eyes and lean against the wall, trying to steady my racing heart. I don't know what I would say when seeing Seungcheol if I even see him. Would he be surprised to see me here? Would he even want me here? But none of that mattered right now. All I can do is wait, hope, and let myself daydream, just for a little while, about what it would be like if things had been different if I hadn't let go.
Laughter.
The sound of my friends and boyfriend fills the room, pulling me back to reality. I feel a tightness in my chest, a sense of entrapment creeping in.
I don't want to be here.
I flinch slightly when Seungcheol's hand moves up and down my arm, his voice cutting through my thoughts. "Speaking of presents, everyone! Gather around!"
When will this day end? I silently plead.
"I'm happy that you all could join us tonight to celebrate YN's birthday," Seungcheol says. The room erupts in applause, a few cheers echoing. I cringe at the sound.
"I'll keep this short and sweet," he continues, taking a deep breath. "YN's, it's been ten years since we first met and five years since you finally caved and started dating me. I guess I wore you down, huh?" The crowd chuckles, but I tense up in my seat.
Please don't do what I think you're about to do, Seungcheol. My thoughts grow louder, nearly drowning out his voice.
"Over the years, we've shared so many moments—some amazing, some awkward, and a few where you probably questioned your life choices." He walks over, kneeling in front of me, and grabs my hand. "But honestly, I can't imagine my life without you. YN, will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife?"
"YN...?" A voice breaks through the haze. I blink and suddenly realize I wasn't dreaming. I now face Lee Jihoon, the man I once called my best friend.
"Jihoon..." I murmur, dazed.
"It's really you," he replies, his voice carrying disbelief. I haven't seen or spoken to him in two years, yet he still looks the same.
"Um, have you heard anything...?" I ask cautiously.
"Still no update. And, before you ask, some of the guys are on their way. Chan, Seungkwan, and Mingyu couldn't catch a flight until tomorrow, and a few others didn't respond. So, it's just us for now," he explains.
I nod and sink back into the chair. More questions swirl in my head, none of which I can answer. Why was he driving so late? In this weather? What was he thinking?
"What the hell was he thinking?" I mutter aloud.
"He knows about your dad. We all do..." Jihoon's voice pulls me back.
"What?" I ask, confused. He's about to explain when a soft voice interrupts, drawing both our attention.
"I'm here for Choi Seungcheol," a new arrival says to a nurse.
"Seokmin..." I breathe, catching his eye. His face lights up in shock.
"Y-YN?!" he stammers.
"Hi," I manage, my voice cracking. I stand up, and he rushes over, pulling me into a tight hug that makes my eyes sting with tears.
"Shhh, it's okay. He's going to be okay. He has to be..." Seokmin murmurs, his hand gently rubbing my back.
As he lets go, I see more familiar faces trailing behind, their expressions a mix of shock and confusion.
"YN?!" Jeonghan exclaims, unable to hide his surprise.
"In the flesh," I reply with a weak laugh, sending a slight wave to Vernon and Soonyoung, who look just as bewildered.
"Choi Seungcheol?" A doctor calls out, and we all rush forward.
"How is he?" Jeonghan asks his voice tight with anxiety.
"He—"
"Is he okay?" I interject.
"It w—"
"Did he make it?" Soonyoung adds, causing all of us to glare at him.
"Guys."
"Sorry," we chorus, silencing ourselves. The doctor sighs.
"I'm sorry to inform you that the patient has a severe concussion and a torn ACL. The anterior cruciate ligament is crucial for knee stability, and the tear means it's no longer intact, leading to pain, swelling, and instability. This most likely happened due to the impact of the steering wheel colliding with his knee. We'll discuss treatment options with him in the morning. Rest assured, we're doing everything we can to aid his recovery."
"What..." I whisper.
"He's okay. He made it," the doctor reassures. We all stand there, wide-eyed and speechless.
"'I'm sorry to inform you' was a wild way to start that sentence, Doc," Vernon mutters.
"Wait, but I heard—" Jihoon starts, but the doctor cuts him off.
"My apologies. He was unconscious when paramedics found him. It's a natural response when someone's in shock."
Silence fills the room.
"You can stay if you like. We've given him medication for the pain, and he'll be out for the rest of the night," the doctor continues.
"Thank you," Jihoon says. With that, the doctor leaves.
"That lucky motherfucker," Vernon mutters as he and Jihoon embrace while I remain frozen.
"YN?" Seokmin's voice calls out to me, but I can't move.
"He's okay..." Jihoon adds gently.
He's okay.
My knees give out, and before I hit the floor, Seokmin catches me, pulling me into another hug. I finally break, sobbing into his chest.
"Shhh, he's okay, YN," Jihoon murmurs soothingly.
We sit on the floor, my cries filling the otherwise silent space. Eventually, we go to Seungcheol's room, and I pray he's not awake. I don't know what I'd say. Hi?
Thankfully, he's still asleep. The sight of him shatters me. His face is swollen and bruised, and there's a brace on his leg. How can someone look so peaceful while in so much pain?
"Cheo—" I try to speak, but the words catch in my throat.
I step closer, scanning his features. My hand touches his face, but he stirs, and I freeze. When he settles, I gently cup his cheek, feeling the burn of tears in my eyes.
"What the hell were you thinking, Cheollie?"
The room falls silent. Outside, the rain softly beats against the windows, punctuated by the steady beeping of machines.
"Let's all just rest for now. It's been a long night," Jeonghan suggests.
We all try to settle in, but sleep doesn't come quickly. As Dokyeom, Vernon, and Soonyoung drift off, my mind refuses to quiet.
"I had a moment a few months back," I say to no one in particular.
"A moment?" Jeonghan asks.
"I was at a bookstore, and a group of friends came in. They were loud but not annoyingly so. They were laughing,... genuinely happy to be together. They reminded me of..."
"They reminded you of us," Jihoon states softly, more than he asks. I chuckle, looking up at them.
"I was finally starting to accept that I'd never see you guys again..."
"Yeah, well, whose fault is that?" Jeonghan snaps, clearly still hurt.
"Jeonghan!" Jihoon hisses, but I shake my head.
"No, he's right. I don't blame you for being mad. You all should be. I know these aren't the best circumstances, but I've really missed you."
Silence hangs heavy, and I drift into a restless sleep.
"What a way to end a wonderful day, am I right?" Seungcheol's voice echoes through our apartment as I head to the bedroom.
"I can't believe you're my fiancé! We're actually getting married!" He trailed behind me, his excitement palpable, but he stopped in his tracks when he noticed me pacing back and forth.
God must be laughing at me.
"Hey, I know that was probably a lot. I'm sorry if it was. I couldn't wait any lo—"
"I can't marry you, Seungcheol."
"What?"
"Please... don't make me say it again."
He makes a nervous, suspicious sound. "Ha! You almost got me there for a second." But his smile fades, and I see the realization creeping across his face.
"You're not— you're not joking."
I stand there, completely at a loss. In the twenty years I've known him, I've never been so unsure of what to say.
"Don't just stand there! Say something!" His voice cuts through the silence, sharp and desperate.
"Cheol, I—"
"I proposed to you in front of our friends... our families!"
"I never asked you to do that."
"That's not the point, YN!"
"Please stop yelling, Seungcheol," I say, my voice trembling but firm.
"Why?" He stares at me, his eyes blazing.
"Excuse me?" I challenge, raising an eyebrow.
"I think we should be able to have a civil conversation like adults, no?"
"That's not— God dammit!" He slams his hand against the dresser, the sound echoing in the room.
"Why won't you marry me?"
"Do I need a reason?"
"Actually? Yeah."
"Fine. Maybe because I don't want to."
"Bullshit," he snaps.
"Oh, really?"
"YN, you've been talking about wanting to get married someday since we met."
"I'm just not ready, okay?"
"You're acting like we're getting married tomorrow. We can set a date for later when you are ready. No one said we had to rush." He steps closer, reaching for my hand, but I pull back, my legs hitting the edge of the bed.
"Look, I get it. Your mom's passing... it's not easy. I know—"
"Seungcheol, don't you dare bring her into this. You asked for a reason. I gave you one."
"It's okay if that's the reason. I know how much you wanted your mom to be there—"
"For God's sake, Seungcheol! You are suffocating me!"
The words hang in the air, sharp and raw, and I instantly regret them. My hands fly to my mouth, my eyes wide with shock, and he freezes.
"Cheol, I didn't—"
"Don't."
"Seungcheol, I didn't mean that!"
He doesn't say another word. He turns and walks out of the room. I hear the jingle of keys, and panic surges as I run after him.
"Seungcheol!" I call out, but it's too late. The door slams behind him, cutting off my voice.
════════════════════════════
There's a faint knock on the door, and my eyes snap open. A nurse enters, and I lie still, listening as she greets him. She checks his vitals and, before leaving, makes a comment that causes me to tense up.
"I hear your girlfriend stayed all night. She's beautiful. You're lucky to have her and your other friends. They were worried sick about you."
"Ah, she's not my girlfriend, but thank you. I'll be sure to tell them. See you later!" he responds, probably shooting her that gummy smile.
Once she's gone and the door shuts, he speaks again. "You still talk in your sleep, you know."
I freeze. "Wait, how did you—"
"Your breathing changed," he replies. Great.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, turning over to face him fully.
"I've been worse, honestly," he says.
"Cheol, what were you thinking?"
"Dokyeom told me about your dad," he replies, catching me off guard.
"H-How does he know about that?" I stammer.
"Sonya."
"Of course," I chuckle slightly.
"She was worried. We all were. She called Wonwoo when you locked yourself in your apartment and no one had heard from you for weeks. Wonwoo called Dokyeom, and when he told me, I tried to get your number, address, anything. I even drove to Sonya's to beg for any details. He meant a lot to all of us. After a few days of nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm sure you can figure out the rest," he explains.
"Seungcheol, at 3 in the morning? You couldn't have waited until morning, or at least until the rain stopped? All this to check if I was okay. That was the stupidest thing you could've done. You could have died!"
"But I didn't. I'm here, aren't I?" he chuckles.
"This isn't funny!"
"You haven't changed one bit," he says.
"I—What's that supposed to mean!?" I sit up, and his chuckle turns into full-blown laughter.
"Glad to see you two haven't killed each other yet," Soonyoung says as he walks through the door, and Jihoon punches his arm.
"Ow! What was that for?!"
"Stop talking," Jihoon responds, glaring at him.
Seungcheol and I exchange an awkward glance before he clears his throat.
"The guys said they'll be landing later this afternoon," Jihoon adds.
"Why are they flying back?" Seungcheol asks, confused.
"We didn't know how serious it was, so we thought—"
"You thought you'd scare everybody? Great," Seungcheol interrupts and Jihoon shoots him a glare.
"Anyway... we brought food," Jihoon says, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that's filled the room.
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," I say.
"Eat," Seungcheol says, his tone firm.
"Excuse me?"
"Have you seen yourself?" he asks, genuinely concerned.
"Coups," Jihoon and Soonyoung warn.
"What? Let's not pretend everything's fine. She may not be in a hospital bed, but she should be. Look at her!"
"Hello! I'm right here, and I am—"
"Don't you dare say you're fine because we all know you're not. Remember how that went two years ago? Why aren't you backing me on this?" Seungcheol's voice rises, irritation creeping in.
"You know what? I'm not doing this right now. I'm glad you're okay. It was nice seeing you all, but I'm going to leave now," I say, getting up to gather my things.
"Typical," Seungcheol mutters, but I ignore him.
"Going to change your number again? Ghost everyone? Disappear like you did last time?"
"There it is," Soonyoung whispers.
"You know what, Seungcheol? Screw you! You think what I did was easy?" I turn to face him, my voice rising.
"Sure seemed like it," he snaps back.
"Don't be so sure of yourself, Choi."
"Oh? Please, enlighten us."
I scoff, feeling my frustration boil over.
"Exactly."
"Hey, maybe now's not the time to—" Soonyoung begins, but Seungcheol cuts him off, clearly annoyed.
"No. I'd love to hear this."
"You weren't there for me the way I needed you to be! Instead, you ignored all the signs and threw a surprise party! I was depressed for months, practically begging for help. My mother had just died, and you thought a party was the answer? And to make things worse, you proposed to me in front of everyone. What the hell was I supposed to do, Seungcheol? I know you meant well, but I didn't need a ring—I needed you!"
The room falls silent, the weight of my words hanging heavy.
"Believe it or not, leaving was the hardest decision I've ever made. I've spent every second of the past two years regretting it. I nearly—" I stop myself, taking a shaky breath.
"I'm so sorry I left. I'm sorry I couldn't communicate how I felt better. I've never forgiven myself for what I did to you. Trust me, every day has been hell because of it. And now, not only do I not have my mother, but I've also lost my dad. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I get a call saying you were in a terrible car accident. I thought I'd lost you, too!" My voice cracks, and tears start to fall.
"So you can take your little comments and shove them up your—"
"Enough!" Jeonghan shouts as he, Vernon, and Dokyeom enter the room.
"Don't worry, I'm leaving," I say to him, tears I'd tried to hold back now streaming down my face.
"YN..." Dokyeom begins, but I can't handle it.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this right now," I say, glancing over at Seungcheol, who looks stunned as if he's finally realizing why I left. Before anyone can say anything else, I walk out.
════════════════════════════
It's been a week since that unexpected reunion. Dokyeom and Jihoon have been calling and texting non-stop, but after a while, I stopped checking. The last message I saw said Seungcheol was back home, resting.
Dragging myself out of bed, I head to the kitchen to make some coffee. Just as I start pouring a cup, there's a knock on the door. I groan, muttering under my breath, "Please, just leave me alone."
Expecting Sonya, my best friend, I shuffle to the door. But when it swings open, my eyes widen in surprise.
"Ji? What are you doing here?"
"Hey... I hope it's okay. Sonya gave me your address," he says, stepping inside.
"Oh, um... sure, come in," I stutter, stepping aside to let him through.
"Nice place. It looks spacious," he comments, glancing around.
"Yeah, I work from home now, so I needed the space."
"You work from home?" he asks, turning to me in surprise.
"Yeah... It hasn't been easy since... well, everything. And then losing my dad on top of that... I just couldn't handle it." I trail off, my voice barely above a whisper. His gaze softens, and I feel a pang of discomfort under his worried eyes.
"Please, stop looking at me like that," I sigh.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm helpless."
"I'm sorry. I just hate that you had to go through everything alone. You could've talked to us. You could've talked to me..."
"Ji, you know it's not that simple. Everyone seemed so... happy, caught up in life. I felt awful, not just about Cheol but all of you. I felt like I was drowning while everyone else was thriving. I didn't want to—"
"Don't say you didn't want to burden us," he cuts me off. "YN, we've known each other forever. You never need to feel like you can't talk to me. I'm sorry you felt that way, but I'm always here for you. Good or bad, okay?"
"I'm sorry..."
"And you need to stop apologizing for expressing your feelings. I think I speak for all of us when I say you can come to us about anything. Even now. We're here for you. All of us. I wish you'd believe that."
"I do... it's just—ugh! I don't know. I'm sorry," I say, rubbing my face in frustration.
"It's okay," he chuckles, and soon, we're both laughing.
"I missed you, goofball," he says, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I missed you too," I sigh, feeling a bit of relief.
After a few moments, he pulls back slightly. "I have to ask, though..."
"Please. Don't," I warn.
"Okay, but seriously... that was intense."
"Any chance of being in his life again is ruined. Even if I wanted to, it's over. You saw how he acted."
"Maybe if I just—"
"No!" I snap, startling him. "I'm sorry. But what's done is done. What Seungcheol and I had was special, and even though it ended badly, I'm grateful for the time we had. Maybe it's best left in the past."
"And who exactly are you trying to convince?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Jihoon, please. Just drop it. For me?"
"Fine. But only because I miss hanging out with you. I miss us," he says, pouting.
"How are you still the same person?" I laugh, and we both ease into a more relaxed mood.
We spend hours catching up, and it feels like a weight has been lifted. He fills me in on everything I missed, and we joke around like old times.
"God, I can't believe you convinced Dokyeom and Mingyu to go bungee jumping!"
"It took Dokyeom 20 minutes to finally do it. Poor guy was terrified," he laughs.
"Remember when we went rock climbing?" I chuckle.
"When Mingyu called Chan 'hyung'? I'll never forget that," he says, making me laugh even harder.
"Those were good times. My dad laughed so hard that day. I miss him..." My laughter fades, and a sad feeling settles over the room.
"So... When was the service?" he asks.
"Three months ago."
"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't Sonya? We should've been there!"
"Don't be mad at her. I asked her not to. I didn't want you guys to feel obligated to do anything. Besides, I needed to heal. After my mom... I never properly dealt with it. So when my dad... well, I let myself grieve. I cried, laughed at memories, and forgave them for things I held onto. It only got bad recently. Everything became too much, and I needed to be alone," I explain, and he nods.
"And I shouldn't have taken that opportunity away from you guys. I'm sorry..."
"I get it. It's okay... Do you feel like it helped?"
"A bit, yeah. You're the first person I've seen in months, and this is the first real conversation I've had in just as long. So, I think I'm starting to get there. I hope."
"Well, I'm glad I get to share this moment with you," he says, placing his hand on mine.
"Me too," I smile, resting my head on his shoulder.
We sit in comfortable silence until his phone vibrates, interrupting the peace. He glances at it, his eyes widening briefly before he tries to hide it.
"It's him, isn't it? You don't have to hide it from me. I'm okay, I promise," I say, giving him a reassuring smile as he answers the call.
"Woozi, where the hell are you?" Seungcheol's voice boomed through the phone.
"Well, hello to you too," Jihoon said, making me stifle a laugh.
"Everyone's already here, so hurry up!"
"You're a bit sassy, you know that?"
"Yeah, yeah, just don't forget the beer," Seungcheol added, and I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore.
"Who was that?" he asked, and Jihoon quickly responded.
"Okay, I gotta go. See you soon. Bye!" He abruptly hung up, then looked at me, and I patted him on the head.
"The eldest awaits," I teased, and he swatted my hand away.
"Seriously, though. If you ever want to hang out, don't hesitate to call," he said earnestly.
"I promise," I replied, guiding him to the door before we shared a hug.
"Oh! I forgot to ask. Are you coming to the engagement party? I know you haven't been out much, but—"
I cut him off, "Engagement party? Who's engaged?"
"Sonya didn't tell you about...?"
Dumbfounded was the only way to describe how I felt at that moment.
"Tell me what, exactly?"
"She and Wonwoo are engaged?"
I stood there, jaw practically on the floor, stunned.
"Wait, wait, wait. PARDON?"
"Uh, maybe you should call her..." he said with a nervous chuckle.
"Anyway, I gotta go! Talk soon," and with that, he was gone.
════════════════════════════
"Jeon Wonwoo did what?! Why am I hearing this from Jihoon and not from you?"
"Oh, come on! We've been together for three years, YN. It was bound to happen."
"That still doesn't explain why I had to hear it from someone else," I stand there, arms crossed, feeling slightly offended.
"You've got a lot going on... I didn't want to just drop it on you..."
"Sonya. You're my best, BEST friend. No matter what I am going through, THIS is something I needed to know!"
She has the nerve to laugh.
"Why does everyone keep laughing at me? This is serious!" I whine.
"Full transparency?"
"I'll entertain it."
"I wanted to tell you, okay? I WAS going to...Eventually. But I didn't because..."
"Please don't say it was because of Choi Seungcheol. Sonya, we've had this conversation. I even told Ji—I'm fine," I insist.
"You're not."
I open my mouth to argue, but she holds up a finger.
"Before you try to lie, I know you better than anyone. Maybe even better than you know yourself. You can pretend everything's fine, but we all know it's not. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think you ever will be completely okay—and that's okay."
"Let's not get dramatic."
"It's been two years. Why haven't you dated anyone?"
"My dad just died."
"That was months ago. You've had two years. And you can't keep using the 'dead parent' card. It's not fair!"
"I know, I'm sorry. But saying I'll never be happy is dramatic!"
"Fine, happiness will find you again blah blah blah, but deep down, you'll never forgive yourself for what happened with him."
I hate how she's always right. I roll my eyes, and she chuckles.
"I'm still mad you didn't tell me," I say, refusing to give her the satisfaction of admitting she's right, but she just smiles brightly anyway. Annoying.
"Oh, poor baby," she pats my head.
"So, does this mean you're coming?"
"Will... Will he, um, be there?"
"The fact that you're asking proves my point."
"SONYA!"
"Wonwoo is family. Of course, Cherry Boy will be there," she says, and I can't help but chuckle at the nickname.
"I don't know..."
"If you skip my engagement party after barging in here like this, you'll regret it," she warns.
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"I'll go! God," I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Wait, really?!"
"But I'm not promising it'll be a drama-free night. He definitely hates me."
"I heard about your little lover's quarrel at the hospital."
"Don't call it that," I say, scrunching my nose.
"That's what it sounded like! Dokyeom and Soonyoung said you could cut the tension with a knife," she teases.
"They were being dramatic. Seems to be everyone's thing these days," I sigh.
"Seungcheol's expressions said otherwise."
"Wait, what?"
"I went to check on him with the guys, and they told me what happened, even though Coups didn't want them to. But, you know how they are. Anyway, he seemed uncomfortable. Like he regretted it if that helps?"
"It doesn't. Great, now everyone knows I'm just a sulky mess who can't keep her temper in check."
"Hey, don't do that. He needed to hear it. I'm glad you got it off your chest. Now he knows there was a reason and that you did—and still do—have love and respect for him."
"I never said that," I snap back, but she just chuckles.
"You didn't have to."
"Oh god, not you, too," I groan.
"YN..."
"You and Lee Ji Hoon are ridiculous."
"I get that, but—"
"But nothing! What's done is done. Why can't you all just let it go?" I sink into her sofa.
"You still love him."
"Of course I care about him. He was my first everything. I'll always care for him."
"You know that's not what I mean. You're still IN LOVE with him," she says, and there's a beat of silence.
"At least let us try to help you be friends again—"
"Let's compromise," I cut her off.
"Hm?"
"Let me get my life together first, and MAYBE we can revisit the whole Seungcheol thing."
"That doesn't sound like a compromise."
"All of this is already a lot for me. I'm willing to hear you out. Take it or leave it."
"Deal."
"Deal."
"Now that that's settled... How are you?"
"I just told you—"
"I'm not talking about Seungcheol. How are YOU?" she presses.
"I'm okay?" I say hesitantly.
"Are you still drinking? Eating healthy?" I roll my eyes.
"No, and yes."
She raises an eyebrow, skeptical.
"No, Sonya. I'm not drinking. I haven't in a while. As for eating, I promise."
"Okay, I believe you," she raises her hands, surrendering.
"So, were you ever planning to tell me about the engagement party?"
"I was going to!"
════════════════════════════
To say I'm running on almost no sleep is an understatement. Tossing and turning all night, I couldn't stop thinking about Sonya and Wonwoo. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I can't shake this bitter feeling that keeps surfacing. Desperate for a distraction, I grab my phone and start scrolling aimlessly through Instagram. My eyes widen at what I see.
Jihoon and Seungcheol. I stare at the picture, hesitating before tapping on the tags and navigating to Seungcheol's page. To my surprise, I realize I've been unblocked. I scroll through his feed, noticing he's been working out a lot—something that was already obvious when I saw him at the hospital. As I scroll further, I see pictures of us together.
"He didn't delete them..." I mutter to myself, feeling a dull ache in my chest. I quickly set my phone down, sighing deeply before rolling over, forcing my eyes shut until I finally drift off.
A loud bang on my door jolts me awake, and the sun streams through my window, blinding me. The knocking persists, and I groan, throwing a pillow over my head to muffle the sound. When it doesn't stop, I realize it must be Jihoon and reluctantly stomp to the door.
"What the hell do you want?!" I shout as I fling the door open.
"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine," Jihoon says, stepping inside with a grin, and I notice Dokyeom trailing behind him.
"Remind me to yell at Sonya for giving you my address," I say, crossing my arms.
"Noted!" Jihoon responds, and I roll my eyes before hugging DK.
"He gets a hug, and I get the death glare? Wow," Jihoon says, clutching his chest dramatically.
"Why are you here at..." I glance at the clock, then roll my eyes, "8 a.m.?"
"Just wanted to check in, see how you're doing," Dokyeom says, but there's something off about the way they're both looking at me.
"You're not telling the truth," I say, narrowing my eyes.
"Is it a crime to want to see our dear best friend on a beautiful Sunday morning?"
"Jihoon?" I turn to him, and he's smiling uncomfortably.
"Lee Seokmin, what did you do?"
"Nothing!"
Silence. Too much of it.
"Oh, for crying out loud. DK told Seungcheol you were coming to the engagement party," Jihoon finally admits.
"Oh, that's it?" I chuckle.
"Not quite..." he continues.
"Okay... you're scaring me..."
"He's bringing... his friend," Dokyeom says hesitantly, "who happens to be a girl..."
Oh. I get it now. He has a girlfriend. Act. Normal.
"Oh! Good for him," I say, forcing a strained smile.
"Whew, that went better than I expected," Dokyeom says, oblivious to the looks Jihoon and I exchange.
Jihoon sees right through me. His eyes silently ask if I'm okay. I nod, pretending I'm not falling apart inside.
"Let's go get brunch!" Dokyeom announces, too cheerful for the situation. I love him, but he's terrible at reading the room.
"You can't just barge in and demand we get brunch. What if I had plans?"
"Do you?"
"Not the point."
"Oh, come on!" he whines. I glance at Jihoon, who scratches the back of his head, looking sheepish.
"You two are unbelievable," I grumble, heading to my room to get dressed. I hear them snickering as I close the door.
"I can hear you!" I shout.
I have to admit, it's nice to be out instead of sulking in my apartment. The weather's perfect—a welcome bonus.
"No mimosa?" Dokyeom asks as our food and drinks arrive.
"Not today," I reply, picking up my utensils, hoping to avoid further questions.
"You're no fun," he pouts.
"Anyway, I should thank you for this," I say, ignoring him.
"For what?" Jihoon asks.
"For dragging me out of the house. It's beautiful out, and I hate to admit it, but I miss being around people."
"Oh, hush. No need to thank us," he says.
We dive into random conversations, and after about 45 minutes, we finish our food and decide to head to the park to enjoy the weather.
"So tell me more about working from home," Jihoon says as we sit on the swings.
"Well. I thought about taking a leave, but then I wouldn't have anything to distract me during the day, so this seemed like the best option."
"How's that working out for you?"
"Honestly? I wouldn't say I like it. I've considered going back, but the thought of facing people, with everyone staring and whispering, is too much right now."
"Fair enough. Still, I admire you," he says, turning to me.
"Why?"
"The past two years have been tough, yet here you are, still moving forward. I've always admired that about you. You're strong, YN."
"I'm glad you think so, but I'm definitely not as strong as I seem. I've had my moments, trust me."
We sit in comfortable silence, watching Dokyeom try to flirt with a woman near the bike rental.
"God, he's shameless," I laugh.
"Poor girl," Jihoon comments, and we both chuckle.
"Can I ask you something?" I turn to him.
"Go for it."
"Seungcheol. Is he... okay?"
Jihoon's expression changes, and he sighs.
"You want the truth?"
"That bad?"
"It hasn't been great."
I sigh.
"The first year was rough. Really rough. He was angry at everyone and shut himself off completely. We didn't realize how bad it was until one night Joshua called, saying Seungcheol was in holding for getting into a bar fight."
"He did what?!" I exclaim, wide-eyed.
"Yeah. He shut us out. For a while, he barely left the house. It took us by surprise when he mentioned he was... seeing someone. We didn't even know he was dating or considering anything serious."
He glances at me, gauging my reaction. I smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes.
"If he's happy, that's all that matters, right?"
"It's bullshit if you ask me," he mutters.
"Ji..."
"I know, I know," he mumbles.
"Even now, he's never told us what happened the day you left," he adds softly. I inhale sharply, feeling a familiar tightness in my chest. There's a long pause before I respond.
"I hurt him. We can all agree on that. Whatever he chooses to do with his life is up to him. He deserves to be happy," I say, deflecting.
"You didn't just hurt him, you know," Jihoon says quietly.
"I—"
"No need to apologize. I get it, I guess. But it sucked not having you around. I really missed you, YN."
"I missed you too, Ji..."
"It's nice hearing you call me that again," he smiles.
"It's nice having you guys back, and maybe one day, when I'm ready, I'll tell you everything," I say, and he nods, his concern evident but unspoken.
"Guys! Guys! Guess what!" Dokyeom yells, running towards us, waving his phone.
"The girl I was talking to—she gave me her number!"
"She did what?" I ask, and Jihoon laughs.
"She has no idea what she's in for," he smirks.
"Hey! I'm a great catch! She even said I was charming," Dokyeom huffs.
"Charming..." Jihoon and I say in unison, breaking into a fit of laughter. Dokyeom groans.
"You're both mean!"
"Oh, come on. I want ice cream," I say, hopping off the swing and leading the way as Jihoon and Dokyeom follow.
════════════════════════════
After spending the day with the guys, I head back to my apartment. DK tried to convince me to have a sleepover "like old times," but I reminded him they had work tomorrow. He pouted until I agreed to a sleepover on Friday.
Later, as I lie in bed, my thoughts drift back to Sonya's engagement party next week. Why is he bringing her? I shake my head, trying to clear my mind.
"No more thinking about Choi Seungcheol," I mutter, rolling over and closing my eyes until sleep takes over.
One drink, I told myself.
I don't know how I ended up finishing almost an entire bottle, but I stopped caring. I dance around my empty apartment, bottle in hand, as music blares from the TV. When "Ocean Eyes" by Billie Eilish starts playing, I freeze.
As her voice fills the room, a familiar pain rises in my chest, and tears fall before I can stop them. I slump over the back of the couch, overcome by the ache. Anger surges, and I hurl the bottle at the wall. The rage grows, and I head to the kitchen, grabbing dishes and smashing them, one after another.
I storm into the living room, kicking the TV with all my strength and sending it crashing into the wall. I finally collapse, sliding down the wall and burying my face in my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I don't know how long I stayed like that until I heard the front door open, followed by a gasp.
"Oh my god, YN!"
Sonya.
"What happened?!"
I can't answer. I can only cry.
"You're okay... shhh, it's going to be okay," she says, pulling me into a tight hug and rubbing my back with her hand.
"You're going to be okay."
#seventeen#choi seungcheol#dokyeom#jeonghan#vernon chwe#wonwoo#kwon soonyoung#svt hoshi#seungcheol fanfic#seventeen fanfic#woozi#seungcheol x reader
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Please, Daddy
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Nanami Kento
Character Count: ~8,500K
Rating: Explicit, 18+
AO3
It was a lazy spring afternoon, one that mimicked the dead of summer with its humidity and heat. All the windows were open, but that did nothing to abate the torturous conditions inside the classroom. The curtains blowing offered a promise of some respite, but the wind was just as hot and provided no relief from the blazing temperatures.
Nobara held a small fan to her face while Megumi patted his forehead with a handkerchief, neither of which helped their fatigue.
“This sucks!” Yuji groaned, kicking his feet onto the desk and leaning his chair back.
“You’re going to fall over,” Megumi said, to which Yuji rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, if I was an idiot, maybe,” he retorted. Nobara stuck out her foot and tapped the leg of the chair, giving it that last push it needed to send Yuji toppling backwards onto the floor.
“Oops,” was all Nobara had to say as she watched her friend groan and wriggle around on the floor in pain.
“Kugisaki, you asshole!” he shouted. “As if this day couldn’t get any worse.”
Nobara sighed and got out of her seat, walking over to Yuji and kneeling. She placed a finger on her chin in thought before brightening, her grin catching Yuji off guard. “I know what’ll make you feel better. Let’s gossip about our teachers.”
The three of them huddled in a circle on the floor with Nobara going first.
“Kusakabe,” she offered, with the boys looking up to the ceiling in thought.
“I think he has boner problems,” Yuji said, making Nobara and Megumi wince in disgust. But the more they thought about it, the more it made sense.
“Do you think he takes pills for it?” Megumi asked, but Nobara shook her head.
“I think he’s too ashamed. And then he cries whenever he does it because he can’t get it up, and the woman has to comfort him,” she said, although she quickly regretted it as they all cringed at the image.
“Oh, man, let’s move on,” Megumi said, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same anymore.”
“Let’s do Gojo,” Nobara replied excitedly, to which Megumi swiftly shook his head.
“That’s our main teacher! We have to look at him every day—we can’t do him,” Megumi objected, although it was only half the truth. He already saw Satoru as a father figure, as much as he hated admitting that to himself. He didn’t want to discuss his sex life.
“I think Gojo does hard drugs,” Yuji said, ignoring Megumi’s outburst. “Like, cocaine and stuff. It gets him really wired to do it.”
“Oh, gross,” Megumi whined as he buried his face in his hands.
“What’s gross?”
Speak of the devil. The trio’s heads snapped up as the very man they were gossiping about strode into the classroom, a stack of papers and folders in one hand and a mug that read ‘#1 Teacher’ in the other. He set down his things and placed his hands on his hips as he stared at his students, who were gawking at him as if a curse was eating his face off.
“Hello? Earth to idiots?” he said, snapping in the air to get their attention.
Nobara, ever the quick-witted girl, looked between Megumi and Yuji’s shocked faces and smirked to herself. She had thought of an excuse the second she heard her teacher’s voice, but she liked the idea of messing with all of them better. She cleared her throat and said, “We were gossiping about our teachers.”
“Kugisaki!” Megumi and Yuji’s voices overlapped as they exclaimed in horror, turning their irritation onto her.
However, Satoru wasn’t surprised in the slightest. In fact, he rushed over to the trio and grabbed a chair, turning it backward to sit on it and place his arms on the back of the chair, leaning forward in intrigue. “Oh? One of my favorite conversation topics. Go ahead, shoot. What’d you guys say about me?”
Megumi and Yuji’s faces then morphed into genuine interest as to what Nobara had planned. How was she going to get out of the hole she dug herself?
By answering honestly, of course.
“We said you do hard drugs to do it,” she said matter-of-factly. “Like coke. That really gets you going.”
Satoru stared for a moment, shell-shocked, before dissolving into laughter. He slapped his thigh and hung his head over the chair, the trio laughing along nervously at his strange reaction. Once he finally got ahold of himself, Satoru looked back up and inhaled sharply. “Good guess. What about Nanami?”
“Confirm nor deny. Smart,” Nobara remarked, high-giving her teacher. The boys were less than enthused. However, once she processed Nanami’s name, she barked out a laugh. “Nanami Kento? That guy’s a virgin, one hundred percent.”
“Kugisaki, don’t be mean,” Megumi chastised, but he was the sole objection on that one. Yuji and Nobara fell into bouts of laughter while nodding.
“You’re so right,” Yuji said. “How old is he, forty? No way some straight like him gets anything. Can you imagine him flirting?”
“He’s twenty-seven, and no,” Megumi said with a sigh. He knew he was giving in, but it was true: Nanami didn’t seem to have one romantic bone in his body. He couldn’t even picture him with a woman on his arm—the sight would probably send the three of them into anaphylactic shock.
He watched Nobara and Yuji laughing together before he turned his attention to Satoru, who was staring down at them with an unreadable expression. “You’re awfully quiet, Gojo-sensei. Wouldn’t you know better than all of us about him?”
Satoru choked on his spit at that, coughing into his fist as a prickly blush climbed up his neck and blotched his cheeks. “W-what? Why would you think that? I don’t know Nanami at all like that.”
“You’re both teachers,” Yuji pointed out with a shrug. “Wouldn’t you guys talk in the teacher’s lounge or something?”
Oh, Satoru thought with a sigh of relief. They meant it like that. He visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping as he played with the bottom of his blindfold. “He’s never mentioned a girlfriend. Or any romantic interest, for that matter. No matter how much I’ve tried seducing him!”
Satoru whined to punctuate the fact that it was a joke to his students, who laughed and pulled disgusted faces at the thought of their beloved teachers kissing. However, Satoru wasn’t telling a joke. He had genuinely tried seducing Nanami on multiple occasions, having had a crush on him since Nanami called him up about becoming a jujutsu sorcerer again and he got to see just how much the blond had grown since they were in school together. The scrawny teen with a terrible haircut he had once known had grown into a muscled, attractive, and stoic man who made people think sinful thoughts just by looking at him.
Satoru could barely believe his eyes, although his pounding heart gave away just what he suspected he was feeling: arousal. He hadn’t felt that sensation in a long time, despite what his students—or anybody, really—thought. Nanami had brought it out of him, and the more he rejected Satoru and treated him terribly, the more Satoru wanted him. Frankly, it turned him on, just how respectable and stable Nanami was. A salaryman who took care of himself, who read and exercised and enjoyed the small things in life. Additionally, the sincere concern he had for his students—for any child—made Satoru want to raise a family with him, a thought he’d never had with anybody, ever.
Nanami was perfect partner material on top of being incredibly sexy. He was perfect. Except for the fact that he hated Satoru’s guts.
“Okay, okay, so Nanami,” Nobara said, pursing her lips together pensively. “I think…he definitely has a hidden kink even though he’s a virgin.”
“I’m going to throw something out there,” Yuji said conspiratorially. “I think he has a daddy kink.”
Satoru’s previous melancholic expression morphed into intense curiosity. He needed all the help he could get, as evidenced by the fact that he was secretly soliciting his students’ help with hopefully romancing Nanami successfully. “You think so? Like, calling people daddy? Or being called that?”
“Being called,” Yuji replied. “No way that guy gives into anybody. He’s as tightly wound as a stretched rubber band. He hates his job, hates being a jujutsu sorcerer, and is a virgin on top of all of that. He’s going to snap at any time.”
The more Yuji spoke, the more Satoru could understand why Nanami was the way that he was. He’d dealt with more trauma than the general population combined, had to submit to his dick boss every day, then deal with more shit in the way of curses. Plus, blue balls would drive any man crazy.
If he needed to snap, so be it—so long as it was with Satoru in the room. And perhaps being called ‘daddy’ would be the driving factor. At that point, Satoru had tried everything. What was one more shot in the dark?
“He’s definitely DILF material,” Nobara said, biting her bottom lip.
Megumi shoved her shoulder so hard that she fell onto the floor in a laughing mess. “You can’t say that about a teacher! You guys are hopeless.”
“DILF?” Satoru asked, tilting his head. “Is this another young person slang word I’m not privy to? You guys make me feel older every day.”
“No way you haven’t heard of DILF,” Yuji said, dumbfounded. “I mean, MILF? It’s just the dad version. Dad I’d like to…you know.”
That woke Satoru up to the fact that he was having this type of conversation with his students, his children. He stood up and swiftly shoved the chair back in its place before taking his place at the front of the classroom.
“Okay, that’s enough,” he said, sorting through his materials to ignore the horrid blush flaming his cheeks. “Let’s begin class.”
When the trio left the classroom after their lesson, Satoru thought back to Yuji’s explanation and chuckled. He had found a way to seduce Nanami. It was far-fetched, but he had exhausted everything else. And he was going to use it.
The only way to get Nanami to hang out with him was to show up wherever he was unexpectedly and follow him around until he relented. Nanami wasn’t exactly rude. He’d speak to Satoru, albeit sparingly. But Satoru couldn’t shake the fact that they weren’t spending time together—he was just following Nanami while he was doing chores.
Not this time. He was going to force Nanami to spend time with him. Which led him to standing on Nanami’s doorstep with a six-pack of beer in one hand and a movie CD in the other.
When Nanami opened the door, he barely got out a ‘hello?’ before his face dropped upon seeing Satoru.
“Don’t look so excited to see me, old pal,” Satoru said, but he couldn’t hide the sharp pain in his chest on his face. Luckily, he had his black blindfold on, which at least hid half his facial expressions. “Surprise! We haven’t hung out in so long, I decided I’d drop by for a movie night.”
“We’ve never hung out,” Nanami said tiredly. Had he been sleeping? He was in sweatpants and a black T-shirt, a casual look Satoru had never seen him in before. It did nothing to hide the lust building in his stomach just at the sight of Nanami. He thought he was attracted to Nanami in suits, but perhaps a simple pair of sweatpants was all he needed to fold over. It did a great job at highlighting Nanami’s crotch, anyhow.
“Well, let’s start now!” Satoru said, pushing past Nanami into his apartment since he knew Nanami would never invite him in. He set the beer on the coffee table in front of the couch before settling on the floor to pop the CD into the player. “I rented us Inception. I heard it’s really good.”
“It is,” Nanami said, shutting the door behind him. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he stared down at Satoru, not moving from the front door. “I’ve watched it. It’s also almost three hours long.”
“Yay, three hours we get to spend together!” Satoru said with a clap. “Come on, sit down, let’s drink.”
“You don’t drink,” Nanami remarked. He glanced up at the ceiling before closing his eyes with a sigh. After running a hand down his face, he relented and walked over, sitting on the floor across the table from Satoru.
“So I don’t,” Satoru said and tried not to show the excitement on his face. Nanami remembered something about him. He knew something about Satoru, something that would only happen if he paid attention to Satoru. “But it’s no matter! I’ll just watch you drink. You can put the rest in your fridge. Call it a housewarming present.”
Nanami took a beer out of the plastic and stared at it, pushing his hair out of his eyes. It was down and slightly wet at the ends from a shower, and Satoru had to look at the floor to prevent himself from blushing anymore at the sight of Nanami with his hair down. He looked so vulnerable, so in his element.
As Nanami regarded the beer can, Satoru took the opportunity to glance around the apartment. He’d never been inside Nanami’s apartment, and it was exactly as he thought it’d be. Everything was tidy and had its place. The apartment itself was humbly small, with what seemed like only one bedroom hidden beyond a slightly ajar door down a hallway. He had a modestly-sized television set on a TV stand full of books and magazines. His kitchen was spotless, and his small dining table had a vase with a blooming bouquet. It was strange and inexplicable how much the normalcy turned Satoru on. After the life he’d lived, all the trauma he’d endured, all he wanted was to settle down someday.
“Thanks,” Nanami said, the sound of the beer fizzling drawing Satoru back into reality. As he watched Nanami take a sip from the can, he realized that he wanted to settle down with Nanami.
“You’re very welcome,” he said. “That’s your favorite brand, right?”
Nanami swallowed and set the can down on the table. His brows raised high on his forehead as he pursed his lips. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. Thank you, Gojo-san. I’m not sure how you remembered that.”
I remember everything about you, Satoru almost said but caught himself last minute. “I already told you to drop it with the san. Just call me Satoru.”
“Mm,” Nanami hummed indifferently. His eyes drifted to the TV screen before grabbing the remote. “Are you going to make these movie nights a habit?”
Satoru’s heart dropped at that. Did Nanami truly hate him? Had he been so caught up in seducing him that he had been imagining things, that he had ignored all of Nanami’s rebuffs?
He bit his bottom lip and shrugged defeatedly. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t like them.”
He watched as the lump in Nanami’s throat bobbed when he swallowed thickly. “I don’t mind them.” He scoffed. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.”
Okay, they were getting somewhere. Satoru didn’t especially like Nanami having to resort to hanging out with him, but they were at least hanging out. He could work with this.
He leaned forward on his hand over the table, smirking at Nanami as the blond desperately tried to avoid eye contact. “Really? You don’t have any dates or anything? A good-looking guy like you—you should be drowning in women, Nanamin.”
The corner of Nanami’s lip curled at the nickname, but he had learned better than to correct Satoru. “No, I’m not,” he replied, although he didn’t seem too broken up about it. “I’m not a playboy like you.”
Satoru took genuine offense to that, slapping a hand to his chest. “Playboy? Playboy! Nanamin, you’ve burned me!”
If only Nanami knew the lengths Satoru had gone to seduce him, how many people he’d rebuffed at the slightest chance of getting in his pants. But he couldn’t say that. Not yet.
“You know, the students were gossiping about you,” Satoru said, reciting the script he’d created prior to knocking on Nanami’s door.
That took Nanami’s attention away from the movie long enough to glance at Satoru. “Oh? What did they say?” He narrowed his eyes. “And how do you know if you weren’t taking part in it?”
Nanami always knew exactly what to say to catch Satoru off guard. He did not expect that in his script. Nanami spoke so little, it seemed impossible for him to go off-script. Lo and behold.
“I just walked in on them speaking about you and demanded them to tell me what they said so I could punish them, I swear!” Satoru cried, but all Nanami did was look back at the movie. “Okay, but I’ll tell you what they said, and you can decide on their punishment after I tell you. They said that…well, that you’re a virgin. Ridiculous, right?”
Nanami’s expression went blank, and his arm shot out for the remote. He paused the movie and turned to Satoru, who stared back at him with an expectant smile. He took another swig of his beer and sighed. “They’ll have to spend thirty extra minutes every day after class cleaning the school for that.”
Satoru’s smile dropped. “But…but, they’re wrong, right?”
Nanami shot Satoru a look before it melted into something different. Something Satoru couldn’t parse. Was it guilt?
“Yes, they’re wrong,” Nanami said then chuckled humorlessly. “Although, I can understand why they think that. I don’t exactly present myself as somebody capable of…that.”
Satoru didn’t like seeing Nanami sad, but seeing him this dejected hurt even worse. This was the exact opposite of what he wanted to happen. He shuffled forward so that he was next to Nanami, giving him a healthy amount of space before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, what’d I say? An attractive guy like you—it makes sense if you get tons of action. But, I mean, I knew I’d find you at home on a Friday night instead of out anywhere.”
Nanami chuckled again, this time more good-naturedly. He ran a hand through his hair, but his hair just flopped back onto his forehead. “You know me too well, Gojo—ah, S-Satoru. That sounds so strange.”
Hearing his first name on Nanami’s tongue was euphoric. He wanted to hear it more. Hearing it made him feel as inebriated as if he had drank the entire pack of beer. It took away all of his inhibitions—the few that he had—and lubricated his lips so that anything and everything he wanted to say spilled out.
“They also said other things,” he continued, giving Nanami’s shoulder a light squeeze. “They called you a DILF.”
“A DILF? What’s that?” Nanami cringed. “Or do I even want to know?”
Satoru tapped his chin to feign thinking. “Hm, I think you do. To, you know, decide the right punishment.” He leaned forward so that he was mere centimeters away from Nanami’s ear before whispering, “Daddy I’d like to fuck.”
He leaned back quickly as if Nanami would strike him, putting his hands up as he laughed. “Crazy, right?”
However, Nanami was silent. He was a statue, his eyes solidly on the floor in front of him. He was so still that Satoru looked to the remote to see if it was a curse that had somehow paused the sorcerer.
“I mean, you’re not even that much older than them, and they’re calling you daddy,” Satoru continued amidst the awkward and unnerving silence. “Daddy. Funny, isn’t it?”
Nanami showed no emotion. Instead, he shot to his feet and turned off the TV. “I think you should go home.”
No. NO. Satoru couldn’t believe what he was seeing. A harmless joke turned into him getting kicked out of Nanami’s apartment. He never thought Nanami would actually kick him out, especially in such a callous way. He floundered for any way to fix the situation, coming up short. Nanami didn’t stick around to wait for Satoru to leave, instead walking away to his bedroom.
There was only one thing Satoru could think of that could stop Nanami in his tracks. It had been the reason why he so callously left, but desperation grew like a mold in Satoru’s chest, leaving him unable to breathe or move until he got what he wanted from Nanami: attention. Validation. Anything that wasn’t him walking to his bedroom, alone.
“Daddy, wait!”
Nanami came to a halt halfway through a step, stuttering forward like an unoiled machine. His back was wide and on full display in that T-shirt, and even underneath it, Satoru could see how tightly he was holding his shoulders, his muscles prominent. He had succeeded in getting Nanami to stop: but why? And now what?
However, that question was quickly answered when Nanami turned slightly, and those sweatpants Satoru had been so in love with gave away exactly what had Nanami rushing away so rapidly. His hand was covering most of it, but the grayness put on full display the prominent shadow of Nanami’s erection. Satoru found himself gawking at it for much too long, and when Nanami cleared his throat, his eyes flickered up to the blond’s face emblazoned with a blush whose color rivaled a tomato.
Oh. So it was true. Nanami did have a daddy kink.
The realization, when it finally hit, felt like a semi-truck had run over him. He had already been recovering from Nanami clarifying that he wasn’t a virgin (who had he had sex with? Who?), but the reveal that a kink that was largely said as a joke was true…it was enough to leave Satoru breathless.
“I really think you should leave,” Nanami mumbled, turning his back to Satoru again as he began to walk toward his room. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”
Nanami embarrassing himself was unthinkable. The display had been the opposite of embarrassing: it was incredibly arousing. Then again, everything about Nanami was arousing to Satoru. It was time for Satoru to embarrass himself.
He stood up, nearly passing out from the lack of oxygen in his brain. He hadn’t been breathing properly, and all of the blood in his body had been diverted to his groin. None of his bodily functions were working properly, except for his dick. And all of his best decisions were made when controlled by his dick.
“You haven’t embarrassed yourself, Nanamin,” he said, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I…I’ve been looking for a way to get you like this for so long. To…be excited. So, it’s okay, daddy.”
He leveled his gaze at Nanami before sliding off his blindfold so that he could see just how serious he was about the situation. His eyelids were heavy with lust as he slowly approached Nanami, his footsteps the only sound in the apartment for several moments. He stopped only a meter away from the sorcerer, sweeping a hand through his hair. “You’ve done the opposite of embarrassing yourself.”
Nanami’s eyes dropped from Satoru’s face down to the sliver of skin revealed as he lifted his arm to his hair. He exhaled shakily before glancing off to the side as any sort of eye contact with Satoru proved too difficult. “You’ve been looking for a way to get me aroused?” Nanami shook his head and scoffed. “I thought you were joking this whole time.”
“What?” Satoru couldn’t believe his ears. He was so shocked that he dropped the sex kitten act, outraged at Nanami’s thick-headedness. “Nanami, how many times did I explicitly ask you on a date? Told you I wanted to spend time with you, kiss you even? What is wrong with you?”
Nanami’s eyes were owlish at Satoru’s exclamations, his mouth agape but with nothing coming out of it. He was rendered silent, watching as Satoru caught his breath from his impromptu bout of shouting. Finally, he swallowed and shook his head. “I thought you were kidding all these years…that you didn’t actually like me…that’s why I never reciprocated. Because if I did, you’d be disgusted that I took you seriously.”
“Like you? Nanami, I’m in love with you.”
The admission caught both Satoru and Nanami off guard. Satoru clapped a hand over his mouth, and Nanami dropped the hand covering his erection. He covered his mouth so that both men were mirroring each other in their surprise. The only thing that got either man to move was when Nanami saw Satoru’s eyes drop to his crotch, which was still tented in his sweatpants and fully visible.
“In love, you say?” Nanami said, his voice dropping several octaves. “What does Satoru in love look like?”
Nanami may as well have been purring in Satoru’s ear with how gravelly his voice had grown. Satoru’s eyes grew dazed with desire, unable to focus on anything except the blond man right in front of him. This was happening. Nanami had reciprocated his feelings, feelings he’d supposedly had for years. That was the downside to being a responsible, stable man: Nanami would never put a relationship on the line because he had romantic feelings, unlike Satoru. If he had, they would’ve been together much earlier. So, they simply had to make up for lost time.
“It looks like this.”
Satoru was on Nanami in a flash, Nanami barely able to blink before he felt a pair of soft, warm lips on his. His hands raised in the air in surprise, but when he sensed Satoru’s arms draping over his shoulders, his fingertips slightly scraping his back, he brought his hands down and ghosted them over Satoru’s hips.
“You can touch me, Nanamin,” Satoru mumbled against his lips before diving back into their ever-deepening kiss.
Nanami found himself clutching Satoru’s hips out of surprise when he felt Satoru’s tongue licking his bottom lip for unspoken permission to enter. Once he gained his bearings, he granted permission by invading Satoru’s mouth first, earning a delicious gasp and moan from him. He found his confidence and massaged his thumbs into Satoru’s hips bones, bringing him closer until their chests were pressed against each other.
“I can feel you,” Satoru said, grinding his crotch against Nanami’s and licking his lips at the deep groan that vibrated in the blond’s throat. He could clearly feel the outline of Nanami’s erection against his thigh, and it only made him that much more dizzyingly aroused. There was nothing that could get him off his high now, except for an earth-shatteringly good orgasm.
He lowered his hand to Nanami’s erection, brushing his knuckles over it before grasping it gently with his full palm.
“A-ah, Gojo-san…” he sighed, his fingertips sinking into the tenderness of Satoru’s hips. “That feels—”
“Good?” Satoru whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Nanami’s lips. “I want you to feel good, daddy.”
“Jesus,” Nanami exhaled harshly, his hands raising to grip Satoru’s shoulders. “I never thought that would get me this way. But of course, it’s only with you. You always make me this way.”
Only when Nanami’s words echoed in Satoru’s mind did he understand the implications of what he had said. Always. Had he accidentally turned Nanami on some other time? Did Nanami think about him sexually? Did he dream about him? The mere thought of Nanami jerking off to him was enough to have him dropping to his knees, face-to-face with the giant tent in those sweatpants that doubled as lingerie with how sexual they were.
“Gojo-san, wait,” Nanami said, his voice laced with panic. His hands wavered in the air much as they did when Satoru first kissed him before settling one of them on Satoru’s head, his fingers tangling in his hair. “You…you don’t have to do this.”
Satoru almost laughed at the suggestion that he was doing this for Nanami. No, he had dreamed about having that giant cock in his mouth ever since the first time he had seen Nanami’s transformation. After bidding goodbye to him that day, he went home and masturbated furiously at the faraway dream that he be able to fuck Nanami—or rather, get Nanami to fuck him so beautifully that he’d never be able to be satisfied without him. Who could have predicted that that faraway dream would be right in front of him one day?
“I want to,” Satoru said. He’d never been more truthful than in that moment.
He traced the top of the sweatpants’ waistband, glancing up at Nanami for permission. When all Nanami could do was grip Satoru’s hair tighter and stare at him expectantly, Satoru didn’t waste any more time. He took both hands and carefully pulled down the sweatpants, but they hitched on Nanami’s erection with how pronounced it was. The visual left Satoru salivating in anticipation, and when he finally was able to pull the sweatpants over his erection, his breath hitched in his throat when he saw that Nanami didn’t have any underwear on.
“Do you always go commando?” Satoru asked, causing Nanami to cover his face with the hand that wasn’t buried in Satoru’s hair. “Or were you expecting me?”
“When I sleep, yes,” Nanami replied, his voice muffled by his hand. Satoru thought it endearing that he could see the blush trickling down his neck to his shoulders, even blotching the top of his chest peeking out from his shirt. Everything about Nanami was delicious to look at.
“Easier for me,” Satoru said before turning his attention to the very thing he’d been daydreaming about for years.
He gripped the base of it with a hand, but it was so large that it made it look no smaller. It left Satoru somewhat intimidated—if he could barely fit it in his mouth, how would it go inside him? Regardless, it’d have to work. He wasn’t going to be leaving himself or Nanami with blue balls. He would be draining them, hopefully multiple times.
Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, he gave the head an experimental lick. Nanami groaned at that simple touch, and Satoru peered up at him as he got used to the salty taste of precome on his tongue. His Adam’s apple was prominent in his throat as his head lolled backward, the sight pushing Satoru forward to do more. He needed Nanami lost in pleasure, getting so drunk on sex with him that he wouldn’t regret a second of it when they were done.
He stuck out his tongue and took Nanami’s cock in one fell swoop, getting about halfway down before his gag reflex kicked in. He squeezed his thumb in his fist to abate it, breathing in deeply before continuing his journey down Nanami’s cock. Just when he felt like his dinner was about to come up, his nose nuzzled into Nanami’s neatly trimmed pubic hair, and he stayed there for a moment, enjoying the fullness in his throat and the tightness of Nanami’s grip on his hair, his scalp burning, before drawing away and coughing to the side. He inhaled sharply as he jerked Nanami off with all the new saliva coating his cock, leading to lasciviously wet sounds echoing alongside Nanami’s sinful groans.
“You’re incredible,” Nanami murmured, his hand trailing to Satoru’s chin and tipping it up.
He wiped away a trail of spit before his thumb rested on Satoru’s bottom lip, swiping alongside it. His eyes twinkled with fascination when Satoru opened it obediently, those eyes of diamonds settling on him with such a heated gaze, it had his cock twitching. Experimentally, he pushed his thumb into Satoru’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue with curiosity. He sucked in a sharp breath when Satoru’s tongue enveloped his thumb and gave it a warm welcome, bringing his lips around it and sucking on it dutifully.
“Did you learn this somewhere?” Nanami asked, although he quickly found that he didn’t want to know the answer.
“No,” Satoru replied, leaving Nanami at ease. “You made me this way, daddy.”
“Oh, you little minx,” Nanami said, but he couldn’t hide the groan or weakness in his knees when Satoru returned to giving his cock the royal treatment.
Satoru polished the cock as if it were his last meal, making sure no part was left unattended. A string of saliva hung from his chin as he bobbed his head back and forth, stroking the parts he couldn’t reach—which with the size of Nanami’s cock, were significant. He groaned with each tug Nanami gave his hair, his voice vibrating around the cock, which then had Nanami groaning and tugging more in response. It was a brutal pleasure loop that had Nanami slightly bucking his hips forward into the warm hole surrounding his cock, much to Satoru’s delight.
Satoru popped off Nanami’s cock, keeping it warm with both of his hands as he stared up at Nanami. “You can fuck my mouth, you know,” he said, opening his mouth to reveal his perfectly pink tongue and inviting throat. “Don’t be scared, daddy.”
Each time Satoru used the pet name, it sent rivulets of electricity down Nanami’s spine. He didn’t know when he first developed this kink—all he knew was that he found himself clicking on a gay porn video with a man whose body looked just like Satoru, and he called out ‘daddy’ over and over to the hunk of a man fucking him into the mattress. Ever since then, he searched high and low for videos of men crying out ‘daddy,’ men who all resembled Satoru in one way or another.
The second he heard Satoru use it for the first time only twenty minutes ago, he thought he was hallucinating. He thought that somehow the beer he drank was poisoned or laced with magic mushrooms, anything that would make more sense than Satoru Gojo calling him daddy. But then he said it again, and again. And again.
And now that Satoru was on his knees, sucking his cock so prettily with those flushed cheeks on pale skin and cherry-red lips stretched around his girth, calling him daddy in that wonderfully low, hoarse voice, it took everything inside Nanami not to pull out his phone and record. This was infinitely better than any video he had watched previously. No, there was no competition. He would never watch another porno again now that he had Satoru in the palm of his hand.
Or rather, on his cock.
“You asked for it,” he said, a deep growl in his throat as he fortified his grip on Satoru’s hair and slowly drove his hips further into his mouth. “S-shit…”
Satoru moaned around Nanami’s cock again at the sound of Nanami cursing, something he hardly did. But he was making him feel so good that he couldn’t help but let a curse slip. It was invigorating.
Nanami soon picked up speed, bucking his hips forward into Satoru’s mouth and down his throat. He felt himself falling into pleasure-fueled hysteria, no longer able to control his hips as he thrust into his mouth with full force, feeling Satoru’s nose bump against his lower stomach each time. The wet squelching sounds coming from Satoru’s throat were downright salacious, and his face and Nanami’s cock were a mess of precome and spit. Satoru raised trembling hands before setting them on Nanami’s thighs, sinking his fingertips into his quads and leaving behind crescent-shaped tattoos.
“F-fuck, I’m close, Satoru,” Nanami gasped, throwing his head back as he continued using Satoru’s head like a fleshlight. “Let me just pull ou—”
Hearing his name in Nanami’s mouth made Satoru go as crazy as Nanami did over being called daddy. He wanted nothing less than for Nanami to leave his mouth empty. His throat was rubbed raw, and he’d been fighting his gag reflex with every fiber of his being, but the pain hardly compared to the orgasmic pleasure he was feeling in his groin. So, he moved his hands to Nanami’s ass and pushed him forward so he had no choice but to stay inside Satoru’s mouth.
“S-Satoru—! If you do that, I’m going to…ngh…coming!”
Satoru’s eyes rolled up into his head as the combination of his scalp burning from Nanami’s tight hold on his hair and the semen pouring down his throat hit him. He was finally tasting Nanami’s semen, and while it certainly wasn’t creme brûlée, it was everything he had dreamed about and more. Satoru was certainly a playboy before he got attached to Nanami, but Nanami had thoroughly turned him into a downright whore.
After gulping down what felt like multiple loads of semen, Satoru slowly slid off Nanami’s cock with a pop and wiped away the mess of come and spit mixing on his chin and down his neck. His eyes were bloodshot, his eyelashes glued together from tears that streamed down his cheeks. The more Nanami gazed down at him, the more he felt himself grow harder again despite orgasming only a minute ago.
He reached down and wiped a stray tear away from Satoru’s cheek before bringing it up to his mouth and licking it.
“How many people have you practiced that with?” he asked, although he didn’t want to know the real answer. Satoru knew to play along, and he loved that about him.
“Nobody, daddy,” Satoru said, rising to his feet and pressing his chest against Nanami’s. “I promise.”
“You—fuck.” Nanami couldn’t help the breathless curse that left his lips. He gave Satoru a once-over, taking in his cotton sweater and black slacks, before grabbing him by the neck and tossing him onto the sofa. He loved looking at Satoru clothed, but at that moment, he needed him naked, and fast. “You showered before this, right?”
“Yes…” Satoru trailed off as he watched with poorly concealed excitement as Nanami undid his jeans and ripped them off in one fell swoop, leaving him in his special briefs. They bordered on women’s underwear with how small they were, but they were white cotton, still having that masculine edge while poorly hiding his weeping erection. He had nearly orgasmed just from having Nanami’s cock stretching his throat, and the evidence was plain as day looking at his briefs.
“I…I also prepped,” Satoru said sheepishly, his hand trailing between his legs. “You don’t have to do anything. You can just…fuck me.”
He pressed a finger to his hole, still clothed by his briefs. He stifled a gasp, remembering how thoroughly he fingered himself in the shower before walking over to Nanami’s. He knew Nanami had a big cock, just by the virtue of his being—but seeing it in person was something else. Insecurity sunk in as he realized he may not have been as prepped as needed.
Luckily, Nanami didn’t think Satoru prepping himself was enough. He needed to take it upon himself to pleasure his partner back, the partner he had yearned after for so long and who was now indulging in his most embarrassing kink.
“Come here,” Nanami commanded, grabbing Satoru’s hips and pulling him down. He then raised Satoru’s hips up into the air so that his ass was flush with his face. He licked a line from Satoru’s clothed cock down to his ass, pressing his tongue into the fabric until he could feel the throbbing hole lying past that thin barrier.
“A-ah, daddy, wait! That feels—hah…”
“Good?” Nanami asked, echoing Satoru’s previous purr. “So you knew that we’d be doing this tonight. Did you come over fully intending on seducing me?”
Satoru covered his face with a forearm, but his blush radiated past that. “Yeah, I did. Does that make you…disgusted?”
“Disgusted?” Nanami sounded appalled just at the thought of being disgusted that the man he’d been in love with for so long had wanted to have sex with him so badly he prepped himself before forcing himself into his coworker’s apartment, prepared to put his feelings on the table and their relationship on the line. Luckily for Nanami, Satoru was a bold motherfucker.
“It makes me want to eat you up,” he finished before pulling the briefs aside and diving into Satoru’s heat. He kissed a trail from Satoru’s balls down his perineum and finally, while listening to the symphony that was Satoru’s moans, licked the hole he’d be using and abusing very, very soon.
“Yes, yes! Fuck, that feels so…ngh, good…” Satoru couldn’t help embarrassing himself over and over, and Nanami’s neighbors would certainly hate him after that night. But he had dreamed about this moment for so long that he couldn’t help being overdramatic, couldn’t help wanting to let Nanami know how truly grateful and excited he was to have his coworker eating him out.
Nanami licked and sucked, trailing a hand to Satoru’s cock to stroke him there, too. He pressed a thumb into the head of his cock as he slid his tongue inside him, driving Satoru wild. He watched from his peripheral vision as one of Satoru’s hands gripped the bedsheets while the other came to rest on Nanami’s head, gripping his hair in much the same way as Nanami did with him.
“I’m close, daddy, I’m close,” Satoru breathed, his eyes fluttering closed to process his pleasure. However, he didn’t want the night to end like this. He opened an eye and peered around his hips in the air to see Nanami’s cock standing at attention as if he hadn’t just orgasmed a few minutes ago. After all the excitement that night, Satoru wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep going after one orgasm—and he wasn’t about to leave Nanami unattended.
“Daddy, fuck me. Fuck me, please. Now.” He wasn’t pleading anymore. He was demanding.
Nanami lifted his head from between Satoru’s legs, savoring the heat of his now-lover’s thighs pressed against his ears. He turned his head and sunk his teeth into the soft inner flesh of Satoru’s thigh, eliciting a yelp from the other as Nanami licked around the bite to seal the deal.
“Are you sure?” he murmured against Satoru’s thigh while gazing at him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back.”
Satoru reached down to his discarded pants on the floor and rifled through one of the pockets, bringing out a condom. Or, what looked like just one condom, before he let the entire roll of about six condoms drop down.
He smirked as he watched Nanami’s face fall. “I’m hoping you don’t.”
He winked as he tossed the stack to Nanami, who set down Satoru’s hips in favor of ripping a single condom packet away from the stack. An entire stack; Satoru couldn’t be serious. But as Nanami swung his gaze back over to the sorcerer, he realized that his playboy label was still true—his sights were set solely on Nanami at that moment. He was insatiable, as evidenced by him spreading his pretty, slender legs dusted with pink blush and a deep bite mark, knowing full well what that would unlock inside Nanami.
“You’re a drug, Satoru Gojo,” Nanami mumbled. “Not only prepping yourself, but keeping an entire roll of condoms…you are one conniving bastard.”
Saying his senior’s full name without honorifics and calling him names were still strange to him. But when he saw how Satoru’s cock twitched after what he said, he realized just how much of a turn-on either saying his name or being called names could be. Perfect.
“Then come have me,” Satoru said, holding out his arms as he watched Nanami tear a condom wrapper and slide it onto his cock. “However many times you like.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Nanami said, guiding his cock to Satoru’s entrance and pressing the head to the rim. Just that small touch had both men breathless, their chests rising and falling erratically to compensate.
“I love games,” was all that Satoru could reply with before Nanami pushed inside. The next thing that came out of Satoru’s mouth was a whiny moan, his trembling legs crossing behind Nanami’s back and pushing him even further inside him.
“Gojo-sa—nn…you’re tight,” Nanami breathed, his arms faltering in their hold on the couch. He nearly collapsed on top of Satoru but managed to keep himself up, one of his arms gripping one of the couch pillows while the other drifted to Satoru's thigh. He ran his fingers up and down that trembling thigh, raking his fingertips until they created light red trails on his pallid skin.
“F-feels…feels so good, daddy,” Satoru said, his voice hitching in his throat with how much every synapse in his body was on fire. It hurt, the stretching sensation from Nanami’s large cock making Satoru bite his lip. But the sheer pleasure he felt from finally being connected to Nanami, to know how his most intimate region felt inside him, to know the face Nanami made when he orgasmed…the pain was secondary. “More…harder, please.”
Nanami wanted to do more. God, how he wanted to fuck Satoru senseless until he could no longer speak and anything that came out of his mouth were whimpers. But he wanted to admire his lover first, wanted to take in his first time with the man he’d been in love with for years.
He slowly trailed his hands underneath Satoru’s sweater, pushing it up so that those pretty pink nipples he’d seen whenever they’d change in gym class or go to onsens together and had dreamed about. With a final push that fully buried his cock inside Satoru, he leaned over and took one of Satoru’s nipples between his teeth. His ears pricked at the sound of Satoru’s sweet gasp, and he dove in for more, sucking on the entire nipple while rolling the other between his fingers.
“There is…too much…” Satoru couldn’t object even if he tried. The stretching of his hole, the tickling sensation of his nipples sending ripples throughout his body, Nanami’s heat draped over him, everything amassed into a wave that crested and crashed over Satoru when Nanami bit his nipple again. “Too much! C-com—”
Satoru barely finished his sentence before semen spurted from his cock and painted his stomach white. His walls clamped down completely onto Nanami’s cock, causing him to groan and leaving any sort of movement impossible. Not that he wanted to move anyway—he wanted nothing more than to watch Satoru in the throes of an orgasm so powerful, his entire body went still before breaking out into shakes. His back arched off the bed and his legs squeezed Nanami’s waist so hard, he’d surely have bruises the next day.
Everything about Satoru was delectable. The more Nanami looked, the more he saw Satoru’s body as sweet: his nipples were strawberry-pink, his hole cherry-red, his skin milk-white.
“Are you alright, Gojo-san?” he asked sincerely once Satoru seemed to calm down, his chest rising and falling desperately to compensate for the lack of oxygen to his brain. He splayed a hand over Satoru’s chest, but the poor man was so oversensitive that he flinched away at the feather-like touch.
“F-fuck,” he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he flung a forearm over his face. “That was…fuck.”
“You orgasmed after I barely put it in,” Nanami remarked, his eyes falling to Satoru’s nipples. “And after I played with you here for a few seconds.”
His hand came to rest over one of Satoru’s pecs, his fingers bumping against the abused nipple and making Satoru squirm underneath him. His eyes flickered back to Satoru’s face with an uncharacteristic smirk.
“You’re in for a long night, Satoru.”
Without another warning, he pulled out, leaving Satoru breathless, before slamming inside him, digging his fingers into Satoru’s waist.
“Fuck! Ah, daddy—it’s too much…” Satoru cried, his arms flailing in the air before coming to rest on Nanami’s shoulders.
Nanami leaned in slightly to make it easier for Satoru to hold onto him. “I thought you wanted more.”
Satoru pouted silently and turned his face away, but his pouting only lasted for a few seconds before Nanami thrust into him brutally again, enough for the wind to be knocked out of him. Except this time, Nanami gave him no breathing room, instead striking up a rhythm that had Satoru gasping for air with each thrust.
“Oh—ngh! Yes, yes, more…daddy…!” The new pet name settled over each man like an aphrodisiac, leaving Satoru hard again and Nanami throbbing inside his lover.
The combination of Satoru’s walls hugging him as if they never wanted to let go, Satoru’s moans, and Satoru’s beautiful expressions were enough to have Nanami fighting the crest of an orgasm from crashing over him. His rhythm gave him enough pleasure to leave his entire body buzzing, but it was punishing and left him racing to the finish. He was fucking into Satoru hard and fast, each thrust sending the couch a few centimeters to the right, the legs scraping against the floor. His fingers were already leaving bruises on Satoru’s svelte waist, and his thighs were littered with marks.
In the few seconds Nanami had left before he succumbed to orgasm, he leaned over and sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of Satoru’s neck, savoring the small cry Satoru let out. A shiver rattled each of Nanami’s vertebrae at the sensation of Satoru raking his fingernails down his back desperately as if he was hanging on for dear life. After releasing the bite and licking it as a silent apology, he turned his attention to Satoru’s ear, licking the shell of it and drawing out another weepy cry from his lover.
“I love you, too, Satoru,” he whispered and smiled to himself when those three words seemed to lead to Satoru’s second orgasm of the night.
But Satoru wasn’t orgasming alone. Nanami was right behind him, his hand shooting out to grip the couch’s arm for support as he slammed into Satoru once, twice, before filling the condom to the brim. He let out a shaky groan, his eyes squeezing shut tightly enough for white stars to break out in his vision.
“I feel it…I feel you,” Satoru whispered, his fingers releasing their hold on Nanami’s back and replacing it with a feather-like touch as he traced shapes into his skin. “Inside me. When was the last time you…”
Satoru swallowed thickly, thoroughly exhausted after his orgasms—the second of which ended up being completely dry. Nanami made him feel so good that his body couldn’t even keep up with semen production to go along with his orgasms. It made Satoru’s eyes drift to the roll of condoms and wonder how many more Nanami could fill up.
“A long, long time,” Nanami replied, slowly opening his eyes after what felt like eons.
His vision was bright at first before adjusting to the living room light. Once his eyes adjusted, he lowered them to his lover and was met with Satoru’s magnificent eyes staring up at him expectantly. He hadn’t masturbated in a few weeks at least, having been too busy with work, curses, and teaching to sit down and watch porn. Besides, he’d exhausted his specific niche of Satoru-lookalikes crying out daddy, and he couldn’t get off to any other video. Satoru had captured not only Nanami’s heart but also his attention. Nobody else was comparable to his Satoru Gojo.
“Well,” Satoru said, his hand moving to the back of Nanami’s neck to bring him down for a kiss. After a shallow kiss, he rested his forehead against Nanami’s and smiled. “Prepare to do it again. And again.”
Nanami’s eyes shifted to the condoms. “Now?”
Satoru licked his lips. “Now, daddy.”
Nanami asked no more questions after that.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk satoru#jjk nanami#nanami kento#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#jjk kento#nanago#jjk nanago#fanfic#fanfiction#jjk fanfiction#nanami smut#nanami x gojo
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Under the Liverpool Stars~Trent Alexander Arnold
It was a cool evening in Liverpool. The streetlights reflected off the wet pavement, creating a magical atmosphere. You were sitting in a cozy bar, lost in your thoughts, reading a book while sipping a warm cup of tea, when a deep, slightly hesitant voice pulled you from your reverie.
"Excuse me... is this seat taken?"
You looked up and found yourself face to face with Trent Alexander-Arnold. For a moment, you were taken aback, but quickly composed yourself.
"Oh, no, it's free. Please, go ahead."
He smiled, placed his coffee on the table, and sat down. He seemed relaxed, wearing a casual coat and a beanie that tried to hide his identity, but it didn't quite work. After a brief silence, he noticed your book.
"You're reading Pride and Prejudice? It's one of my sister's favorites. She always tells me I should read it, but I’ve never gotten around to it."
"Really? It’s a classic. Maybe you should listen to her, she has excellent taste."
He laughed, a warm, genuine sound that seemed to fill the space around you.
"You might convince me to read it... if you give me a good reason."
You tilted your head, studying him. "Well, if you like a good love story with sharp dialogue and complex characters, this is perfect. But what kind of books do you usually read?"
He scratched his head, a little embarrassed. "Honestly, I don’t read much. I spend most of my time training or playing. But I like stories that teach me something. Like biographies or self-help books."
The conversation flowed naturally, and Trent was curious, kind, and surprisingly humble. He didn’t talk much about football unless you brought it up, and he seemed more interested in learning about you—what you liked to do, your dreams, your hobbies.
After an hour, he said, "You know, I wasn’t expecting to have such a nice conversation tonight. It’s rare to meet someone to talk to so... authentically."
You smiled, a little shy. "It’s been nice for me too. It’s not every day you meet a... famous footballer in an ordinary bar."
He laughed again, but his tone grew more serious. "Listen, can I ask you something? Would you like to meet again? Maybe next time I could take you to a special place. Not just any bar."
Your heart skipped a beat. You weren’t sure what to expect from this meeting, but there was something about him that made you feel at ease.
"I’d like that."
---
Weeks passed, and you and Trent began to see each other regularly. He took you to beautiful spots around Liverpool, introduced you to some of his friends, and even brought you into his family circle, where they welcomed you warmly. One evening, as you walked along the Mersey, he stopped and looked at you with an intensity that made your breath catch.
"You know, since I met you, everything feels different. Football has always been my life, but with you... it’s like there’s more. Something bigger."
He took your hand, his touch warm against the cool breeze.
"I don’t know what you think, but I want to see where this takes us. I really want you to be part of my life."
Your heart melted. Looking into his eyes, you found nothing but sincerity and affection.
"I want that too, Trent. I want to be here, with you."
And so, under the stars of Liverpool, your love story began to take shape—a unique combination of two different worlds that had crossed paths by chance but were destined to intertwine.
#trent alexander arnold smut#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent alexander arnold#trent alexander x reader#trent alexander x you#trent alexander imagines#footballer imagine#football imagine#footballer fanfic#football fanfic#football#football x reader#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#strangers to lovers
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rewatching voltron with the knowledge that shiro is gay and has an ex-fiancé is actually very funny because that means when he got back to earth after being held captive and forced to fight gladiator style in space prison his first and main concern was to get the FUCK back to space without alerting anyone else that he was on earth at all. and yanno what that is so valid i too would be so embarrassed and never want to see my ex again after he specifically told me not to go to space and i didn’t listen and that resulted in the break up of our almost marriage and on the space mission he told me not to go on i got alien kidnapped and thrown into the middle of an intergalactic war.
#and I KNOW the creators didn’t plan for adam or anything#but it is still FUNNY looking back at stuff that shiro does#like yes bbg leave ur lovely husband to go to pluto and never see him again!!!!#iconic. i love him.#he’s my favorite character and i think about him every day#shiro#takashi shirogane#adam#adam w#adam voltron#adashi#shadam#vld#voltron#voltron legendary defender#two voltron posts back to back sorry i have brain worms
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"Perhaps I should assume control... Just out of curiosity, if you were in control–" "I'd shut up and kiss you." ... "It's funny, I don't feel in control." BOSTON LEGAL 5.11 "Juiced" (Deleted scene)
#gd damn. happy birthday to me I guess#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#favorite#*#onscreenkisses#he just DEVOURS#so hungry and needy and desperate and generous and... thorough#just watching this I can feel his tongue down my throat. who told him to do all that#that's what I was saying the other day!!! a spader on-screen kiss is..... not like other kisses#remember that thing jim said about how as an actor you really have to feel what your character feels#if your characters are in love you have to fall a little bit in love with your costar. I think he really does every time. he's so giving#and it's simultaneously just his job. hmm thinking things#that I'll save for another time. when I'm not distracted by how hot this is
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Is This a Tragedy?
You're an actor and you finally got your big role in a hit TV show. Unfortunately your character only made it to Season 2 before they killed you off. This is how I imagine the lads men react to watching that scene [Requested by: Anon]
𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎
calm cool and collected on the outside; whole time he's really having an internal breakdown
grips your hand a little tighter in his as the scene progresses
“are you dying? is this a tragedy?”
is very aware that it’s just a show, but can’t stop his heart from pounding at the thought of losing you
rubs his eyes to keep himself from tearing up
stares at you after the episode ends “What?” “The thought of losing you has always terrified me; watching you perform that scene does not help” “it’s my job Zayne besides im right here”
finds himself staring at you more often just trying to commit every feature of yours to memory
never willingly watches that episode again
skips over that part every time or just turns the show off “You still can’t watch it?” “No”
praises you for the phenomenal performance although he claims it was a little too realistic
𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕
is great at slipping in and out of character so he was the one helping you with your acting skills
sits up straight when he realizes what's happening “is this the scene you've been keeping secret?”
falls out immediately in your lap
bawling his eyes out goes as far to curl up in your lap
would be so proud of not only you, but himself as well for helping you perfect your craft
“Do I get credit as the acting coach?” “Yes would you like a reward?” “You know I do”
Although he’s proud of you he can’t bring himself to watch the episode again also doesn't continue watching the show in general "they killed off my favorite character how can I continue watching it now?"
keeps pushing you to work on crying on command so if you need to cry for your next roll it’s even better
acted out the scene with you at home for fun once and had a mental breakdown
𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛
Fell asleep in the middle of the show and missed it
“just watch it when you get a chance” “no replay it”
immediately turns the show off in the middle of the scene
“im not watching this” “Xav…” “No”
drills you with questions about why you didn’t tell him you were dying in that episode
“I can’t watch that don’t make me watch it” "You're being a little dramatic don't you think?"
pouts, pouts, and pouts some more
won’t watch it no matter how much you beg
although he never finished watching the whole scene he holds your hand tighter now these days
asks for a warning next time so he can prepare himself …… to fast forward
𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜
watches quietly giving away nothing
“You even shed a few tears for your own scene?” teases you for crying at your own death scene “it looks different after the editing okay!”
won't admit it, but one time was enough
“it made you sad didn’t it?” “Well I don’t take pleasure in watching you die onscreen sweetie” “im alive though” “Let's keep it that way”
weasels his way out of watching the scene again
his voice slightly wavers whenever you bring it up
avoids eye contact when you tease him about it
held you tighter at night for at least a month
Bonus: the twins bawled their eyes out and tackled you to the ground with a bone crushing hug
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds rafayel#lnds xavier#lnds zayne#lnds#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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i was hacked by a very unhappy man!
#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#g13#g13 nsbu#usha rao#MY TASTE IN FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETS WORSE AND WORSE BY THE DAY!!!!!#sorgy. i cant help it every time a character is even slightly sympathetic i fall for it every time#i acknowledge that he is rude to everyone around him and the reason why he is so isolated from every body#is that he is egotistical and drives people away on purpose#like if u are not useful to him then he doesnt like you#but that in and of itself is so sad. hes just really sad#and a dick. and its funny#“we can have an old ladies night out” “maybe you can have that one by yourself” LMAO#ALSO USHA IS SO FUNNY U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I WAS LAUGHING TODAY#“i made my own alcohol during the prohibition” SHES 100 YEARS OLD AT BEST. AND FROM INDIA#i think these two are my favorite characters this far and i dont know what that says abt me#oh not even mentioning the inherent tragedy of fictional character who knows theyre not real and wants to escape into the real world#tell me g13. why do you want people? huh? HUH?#im also being influenced by his nature of being a loser and also i like computers and computer symbolism#im normal you can trust me#i could go on about how usha and g13 are alike in their refusal to change#but i need to sleep#nsbu spoilers
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mannnnnn he xuan's all-consuming hatred for shi wudu and fury over everything he did to him and his family vs. hua cheng's all-consuming love for xie lian and gratitude for everything he did for him... shuangshui is truly the dark mirror of hualian
#both ghost kings' obsessions keeping them tethered to the mortal plane! ghosts are beings of fixation and emotion and lingering feelings#this is why hx is my favorite tgcf side character#and i think about him and his parents and sister and fiancee once every few business days#tgcf tag#he xuan#black water sinking ships#shi wudu#shuangshui#hua cheng#crimson rain sought flower#xie lian#hualian#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#mxtx tgcf#mxtx#mo xiang tong xiu
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what really gets to me about the lawsuit arc is that no one really says the wrong thing when trying to reassure buck about everything in a general sense, they say what pretty much what you’d expect for the situation. so, on the first watch you’re sympathetic for buck but you still wonder why he’s reacting so strongly like damn guess this guy really likes his job.
then you watch buck begins. it literally recontexualizes everything especially the lawsuit cause while normally what was said to him would work, buck’s hyperspecific blend of trauma makes their attempts the worst thing they could possibly do to help, but none of them know that! so from their perspective buck comes across as unreasonable while in hindsight it’s actually a very clear trauma response
maybe one day i’ll do a rewatch so i can add specifics that show this instead of just vague incoherent ramblings
#911 on abc#evan buckley#buck begins#the absolute oh moment i had watching buck begins#and suddenly understanding his every action prior#the fact that they still haven’t let him properly deal with all that will be my 13th reason#every day i think about the self harm montage followed with the jokes about buck being reckless#he wasn’t even in my top 3 favorite 911 characters#but them buck begins permanently altered my brain chemistry#and now he’s no. 1
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my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. it’s like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course we’re not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no one’s business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what he’s thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesn’t even have to move
#i miss him so much i need him back i need him to live next to me again. i need to mooch off his wifi from my porch and invite him over#i miss him so much.#he’s only 2 minutes younger but he feels years younger. and yet i think we’re two halves of one soul#i’ve always babied him not even in a mean or diminishing way but i felt this need to protect him#because he tends to be so naive and so shy#but. i am so proud of him. i need to show him off to everyone and i need everyone to understand how funny and charming he is#it feels like i grew up and left him where he will remain 11 forever. i miss him more than moving back home can fix#i miss him in ways that have nothing to do with the distance between our locations#but. it would certainly help to be able to see him every day#i keep smelling the carpet in his room and it’s so vivid. i remember the countless hours we spent developing huge wood block cities#and we would drive hot wheels over the wooden raceways we had made. we were actually quite coordinated and autistic about it#we were always building things together#just recently me and him talked on the phone about an old mlp au we came up with. all original characters and shit#it was super extensive and very clever#i STILL think it would make a really cool book series or something#i remember watching him play army men RTS gamecube on the wii. i STILL listen to the soundtrack to that game like…. daily#i remember walking into my room once where he was watching a show. and he was crying#and he NEVER cries over tv#but he was crying because his favorite character had resigned from the organization that the series was based around#and he was so distraught that she was leaving.#i remember when all 3 of us slept in one room. i remember when me and him were in bunk beds across the room#and we would sneak out of bed right as the parents left and stayed up playing by the light of the nightlight#the way we raced back into bed when the parents were approaching 😭#my mom always says she’s sad that i seem to remember so little of my life. like every story of my youth is news to me lmao#but i feel like i remember the most important parts? i think so#i remember how mom woke me up in the night to ask me to roll over because my bro could see my face from where he was sleeping#and he was scared because there was a weird shadow cast on my face that made it look like a skull which was making it hard for him to sleep#it was. so funny. i begrudgingly rolled over#i don’t know. it’s just that there isn’t a single instance i bring up that my brother does not also remember.#no matter how tiny or specific. we shared everything growing up
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I KEEP. drawing this guy.
#i might be stuck in the timeloop.#the timeloop where i draw this critter every single day from now on.#there's something about their design that's so appealing to my brain and makes it easier for me to draw him#i think it's their hair tbh#UGH i love em tho#like driver is my personal favorite character and i love both designs but hiker is sm easier to draw for me#the autism.#art#hiker#the hiker#hikeback#hikeback fanart#hikeback hiker#i wanted him to be smiling and happy without dying. ok. he needs it.
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